


Into the Valley of Dreams

by masulevin



Series: Sex Dream AU [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Blow Jobs, Confident Cullen Rutherford, Cullenlingus, Doggy Style, Dream Sex, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Possessive Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sparring, War Table Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-17 23:34:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 22,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9351392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masulevin/pseuds/masulevin
Summary: When Asha Trevelyan learns how to manipulate the Fade to control her dreams, she starts using it to stave off the homesickness that comes with traveling Thedas. She misses Skyhold, her new home, but most of all she misses Cullen, the man she's been longing for since she woke up in Haven.Though she enjoys the benefits of such a talent, her lack of training means she doesn't realize when she's snared Cullen's dream within her own.





	1. Skyhold

**Author's Note:**

> And now it's time for what I've been calling my "sex dream AU."
> 
> World fell away then, misty in mem'ry,  
> 'Cross Veil and into the valley of dreams  
> Andraste 1:10

Now that Asha knows she can control her dreams in the Fade, she’s happy for the ability. She rarely uses her new talent to completely shape her dreams, just change details about them to make her sleep more restful.

But after days of riding, listening to Blackwall and Dorian bicker, and Iron Bull making suggestive comments to anyone who’ll look at him, she’s desperate for a break. They’re almost done in the Fallow Mire, and the weather’s  _ disgusting _ , the ground soggy all the time.

“I’m never going to another  _ mire  _ as long as I live,” she grumbles, hanging her last pair of socks by the fire to dry overnight. “Everything’s constantly damp. It’s awful.”

Inside the tent she shares with Dorian, she curls up under her furs and slips into sleep, into the Fade, thinking of Skyhold and of Cullen, willing them to come to her in her sleep.

She walks the battlements in her normal casual wear, a dagger tucked into her boot  _ just in case, _ and a cloak draped over her shoulders.

She leans against the outer wall just over Skyhold’s gate, gazing out at the mountain path. It’s quiet in the Fade version of Skyhold, a little warmer than it would be in real life. She closes her eyes and raises her face to the sun, basking in its rays.

Heavy footfalls sound behind her, and she turns in surprise. Cullen hovers halfway between his office door and where she’s standing. The fur collar of his cloak ruffles in the breeze that stirs up, knocking one of his golden curls loose so that it falls onto his forehead. She watches it land there, warmth coiling in her belly. She so loves his hair.

A smile must have crept across her face, because he relaxes and closes the rest of the distance between them.

“There you are.” His voice is soft, and he leans against the wall next to her. One gloved hand sneaks out and tucks a lock of hair behind her ear, then rests on her cheek. “I missed you. I was afraid you wouldn’t come back.”

_ Oh. It’s this kind of dream. _

Her face warms under his gaze, but she turns toward him, reaching out one hand to rest on his hip. His face lights up under her touch, and she steps a little closer. 

Perfect. 

“I’ll always come back to you,” she breathes, reaching up on her tiptoes to close the distance between them.

He complies to her unspoken request immediately, leaning down and bringing her face to his for a searing kiss. She gasps against his lips, grabbing at his cloak with both of her hands to haul him closer. He slips his tongue into her mouth past her parted lips and moves so that her back is pressed against the cold stone, his warm body trapping her there.

He kisses her with all of the fervor she could ever have imagined, nipping at her bottom lip as his hands run down her sides to her hips. She wraps her arms around his neck and tries to press herself against his chest as he grinds his hips against hers.

She breaks apart from him with a groan, gasping for breath. He rests his forehead against hers and stares into her eyes, pupils blown wide.

She swallows hard, head spinning. She can’t think clearly, can’t get past the feeling of being surrounded by his warmth.

When she doesn’t say anything, Cullen slides one hand back up to tangle in her hair. She snaps her eyes shut as he tilts her head back to grant him access to her throat. He trails kisses across her jaw and up to her ear, stopping to bite at the sensitive skin he finds there. “Tell me what you want,” he murmurs, lips brushing against her skin. 

A shudder moves through her like a wave, and she fists her hands in his hair as he wraps his lips around her earlobe and sucks gently. The hard press of his armor against her chest reminds her, and she opens her eyes. She can see the blue of the sky above her, clouds drifting lazily overhead. “Take off your armor,” she demands. 

His laugh rumbles from his chest, and he reaches down, running his hands down her back, over the curve of her ass, to grab her thighs and haul her up into his arms. She squeals a laugh, wrapping her arms and legs around him to balance herself. His arms are strong, holding her easily, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“As you wish.” He turns and they’re in her chambers, the transition so seamless she barely notices it. 

He lays her back on her bed gently, his armor already missing. She runs her hands up his clothed chest, a moan already building at the feeling of his muscles under her hands. 

“This too?” she breathes, suddenly uncertain. “I want to see you. Please.”

Cullen meets her gaze and she watches as his lips twist into a lopsided smile, the scarred edge of his mouth lifting higher than the other. She props up on her elbows and watches as Cullen stands up straight, rolling his shoulders before reaching back with one hand to tug his shirt off over his head. 

Her breath catches in her throat at the sight of him. He's perfectly formed, beautiful, like a statue cast in marble. Each muscle of his abdomen stands out in sharp relief, ending in a tight v that disappears into the front of his trousers. She traces the curving muscles with her eyes, licking her lips before coming back to herself.

When she meets Cullen’s eyes again, he's still smirking down at her. He bends forward, crowding over her, forcing her to back up towards the headboard as he crawls onto the bed. Her back touches her pillows and she relaxes onto them, finally putting her hands on Cullen’s heated skin.

Fine golden hairs tickle her fingers, and she runs her hand over his chest with a content sigh before he leans down and demands her attention with his kiss. His tongue delves into her mouth, rubbing against hers as she moans against him.

Her hands find their way to his back as her legs part to give him room to move against her. He does, pressing against her with an insistence that makes her shudder. His lips and teeth follow the line of her jaw to her ear then move lower to her pulse. He pauses there, sucking a dark mark onto her skin that she suddenly wishes would still be visible in the morning. 

Cullen shifts to hold himself up on one elbow, leaving his other hand free to rest on her ribs, just under her breasts. She pants for breath, arching toward him, and frowns when she sees he's waiting for something.

“Asha.” Her name in his voice, deep with desire, makes her shudder as pleasure rushes through her. It gathers at her core, encouraging the wetness already gathered there. “I want to take you apart. I want to remove all of this,” his hand strokes across her tunic, just brushing the underside of her breasts, “and show you what you mean to me. I want to worship you, to make you come until you've forgotten your own name. May I?”

He waits, eyebrows raised, until she claws her way out of her lust-addled brain to think about what to say. 

“ _ Maker, _ yes.”

His eyes light up and he immediately begins unfastening the buttons holding her tunic closed. She closes her eyes and lets her body relax under his gentle touch, goosebumps forming wherever her skin is exposed to the air. 

He peels her out of her tunic and leggings quickly, letting them drop to the floor alongside her boots. He sits at the end of the bed, surveying her for just a moment until he decides where to start.

He picks up one foot and rubs it firmly, pressing thumbs into sore flesh and pulling a deep moan of satisfaction from her. He moves to her other foot soon, then works his way up her legs, pausing to massage and press a kiss to each muscle along the way.

He skips from her knees to her stomach, bending down to kiss her warm skin as he moves his way back up her body.

By the time he finally reaches her breasts, her nipples have peaked and are begging to be touched. He obliges, ducking his head down with a smile to ghost his lips across one pink mound.

Asha whines, impatient, and earns herself a low chuckle from Cullen. His tongue appears between damp lips to tease as well, the tip of it barely touching her sensitive skin. 

He works patiently, thoroughly worshipping one breast before moving to the other. Her fingers tangle in his curls, holding him in place even as her hips shift in seeking circles. 

She nearly cries when he finally begins his descent again, stopping only to leave another mark below her belly button. 

His fingers tuck into her smalls, and he pauses again, looking up at her with eyebrows raised. At her desperate nod, he slides them away, down her hips and over her feet to be forgotten on the floor.

He takes a moment to admire the view, his Inquisitor laid bare before him, legs spread, folds glistening and begging to be touched. He reaches forward with one hand and delicately dips a finger between her thighs. It slides easily through her wetness, and her whole body shivers at just the lightest of contact. 

He pulls his hand back and places his finger in his mouth, eyes dropping closed as her flavor bursts across his tongue. A tiny groan escapes him at the taste, and Asha’s mouth drops open with an answering moan at the sight. 

Amber eyes open slowly, meeting her gaze with the wickedest of grins before he leans down and licks a stripe right up her center. She arches her back and groans again, unashamed of the noises he’s coaxing out of her, and tangles her fingers in his curls without thinking. 

His tongue works within her, expertly dipping inside to gather up her juices before returning to her clit. He circles the bundle of nerves with his tongue as he settles more firmly between her legs, pushing her thighs over his shoulders as he continues worshipping her. 

He moans, pressing his hips into the mattress to relieve the pressure of his unattended cock, achingly hard just from being allowed to pleasure her like this. He squirms as she does, his pleasure building in time with hers. 

He wraps his lips around her clit and sucks, building the pressure before releasing her. Her moan is more of a whine of impatience before he obeys her, ready to answer her need. 

He laps at her with the flat of her tongue, groaning still. She can feel her orgasm hovering just out of reach, growing with each second Cullen teases her. 

When it finally breaks over her, she shatters into a scream. Waves of pleasure consume her body, and she barely notices when Cullen’s fingers dig into her hips to hold her still so he can continue. 

She wakes with a gasp, her whole body tensing. She immediately rolls over to check on Dorian, but he's gone. It must be his turn on watch. 

It only takes her a moment to decide the pressure between her thighs is too great. She slips one hand into her trousers, finding herself already soaked and on the edge of release. 

She's never had a dream so intense, but she isn't going to complain. She wanted a dream to warm her up, and this one certainly did. 

A few practiced twists of her fingers and she finds release. Her whole body tenses, her teeth grinding together as she does her best to muffle the sound. She continues rubbing, prolonging the orgasm until she can no longer stand it.

She collapses back onto her bedroll with a heavy sigh, and immediately slips back into dreamless sleep.


	2. The War Room

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With their first dream together fresh in their minds, a routine War Room meeting proves to be almost too much to handle.

It’s harder to look Cullen in the eyes than she thought it was going to be. Every time his amber eyes meet hers, all she can think about is the way they looked gazing up at her from between her thighs. She stares resolutely over his shoulder whenever he speaks to her, giving up on any illusion of  _ it was just a dream. _

It’s been  _ ages _ since anyone has touched her the way she dreamed, and it’s becoming almost physically painful. It’s also becoming increasingly distracting when she can no longer pretend that it isn’t just Cullen’s looks that’s attracting her. It’s everything about him, how hard he works, how much he cares, how dedicated he is to their cause, how he’s always willing to set aside his work for a moment when she needs to speak with him…

But here, in the War Room, with the sun landing on his golden hair like it is, the sound of his baritone echoing around the chamber, the irritated little huff he gives when he and Leliana disagree… 

She squirms where she stands, leaning against the table and trying to discretely press her thighs together.

This won’t do.

This won’t do  _ at all. _

When the meeting finally ends, Asha trails Cullen out of the room and invites him to the gardens for a game of chess. He hesitates for only a moment, looking in the direction of his office, before he smiles down at her. He offers her his arm and she tucks her hand into the crook of his elbow, letting him lead her through Skyhold.

\---

It’s just them in the War Room now. Leliana and Josephine have been gone for a while, leaving Cullen and Asha to catch up. Letters are always exchanged between them--first, just reports written by her at Cassandra’s insistence, but before long they started sharing more of themselves.

There’s nothing like actually being together, though. No amount of letters can replace the way the corners of his eyes crinkle when he smiles at her, or the way she presses her knuckles to her mouth when she starts to laugh.

“I wish you didn’t have to leave again,” he says, pitching his voice low. Asha circles the table to stand next to him, leaning against it with her hip. He closes the distance between them without hesitation, letting his hand rest on her waist, pulling her closer until she rests her head against his breastplate. “I worry about you.”

She hums quietly at the admission. “I worry about you too.”

Cullen laughs lightly, disbelieving. “Why would you do that?  _ You _ are the one facing demons and Venatori. I’m just here, in my office, planning troop movements and calibrating the trebuchets.”

She pushes away from him, a frown already twisting her mouth down. His lips part slightly in surprise, but he waits for her to speak. “I wouldn’t have to worry about you if I thought you were taking care of yourself,” she snaps. “You have to eat  _ and  _ sleep. And you have to do both every day.”

Her anger gives way to frustration and worry, and she bites her lip before looking away. She hadn’t meant to speak to him like that, but... 

His hands are cupping her face, his thumbs tracing over damp cheeks, before she has time to really regret saying anything. “I didn’t…” he stops, clears his throat. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”

She sniffs, an angry sound, and squares her shoulders. “Well, I do.”

Cullen smooths her hair away from her face and runs his hands down her arms. He twines their fingers together and stares down at her, the scarred corner of his mouth quirked up in a half smile.

“I’ll do better,” he murmurs, tugging her a step closer. She tilts her head back to meet his gaze, waiting. “I promise.”

She nods once, then surges up onto her toes to press her mouth against his. He makes a quiet noise of surprise, but wraps his arms around her waist to haul her body closer to his. She buries her fingers in his pauldron and tugs, lifting one leg to wrap around his hip.

His hands follow the line of her body, over her ass, and grabs her thighs. Under her encouragement, he lifts her, turning to place her on the edge of the War Table. She wraps both legs around his hips and pulls him closer, close enough that she almost can’t tell where her body ends and his begins.

_ This _ is what she wanted today in the meeting.  _ This _ is what she wanted when she climbed into her bed alone.

She trembles and moans under his attention, fingers immediately searching out the straps of his armor. She lets each piece fall to the floor as she frees his body, stopping only when she feels his heated skin under her hands. 

He steps away from her, reaching for his belt. She bites her lip and slides off the table, meeting his eyes as she pulls her own clothes off and lets them fall to the floor by his. 

When she looks up again, Cullen stands bare before her. His amber eyes are raking over her form, one hand lightly gripping the base of his cock. She lets her eyes fall to drink in its delicious thickness, a detail missing from her last dream, and considers dropping to her knees right there on the cold stone floor of the War Room before his voice snaps her attention back to his face.

“Turn around.”

A thrill runs through her at the order and she spins immediately. Cullen’s hands are on her in an instant, running over her bare flesh, exploring the freckles that cover her shoulders and upper back. His hands dip lower and she shivers when she feels his lips on the back of her neck. He leaves open-mouthed kisses across her skin, running his fingers around to cup both of her breasts, thumbs flicking over her nipples.

She gasps and tries to step back toward him, pressing her ass against his arousal. He grunts against her, fingers tightening almost painfully into her flesh, before he puts one foot between her ankles to spread her legs further apart. He presses her forward with one hand on her back and the other still holding her hips. She bends eagerly, bracing her hands against the table edge and arching her back  _ just so  _ to raise her ass for him.

A strangled groan is her reward, and she smirks even as the warmth of Cullen’s hands disappears from her body. She glances over her shoulder to see him kneeling between her thighs, and he locks eyes with her for as long as he can before his face disappears into her folds.

The moment his tongue touches her, a loud groan escapes her throat. She presses back against him, muffling any response he might have had for her, encouraging him to continue. 

If he loves this as much in real life as he does in her dreams…

“Oh!” All conscious thought is pushed from her mind as Cullen suddenly introduces a finger into her cunt, quickly followed by a second. He pumps them quickly, easily slipping through the arousal that’s dripping down onto her thighs.

He keeps his lips busy kissing over the backs of her thighs, nibbling at the trembling muscles as his fingers push her straight to the edge. She trembles, clutching the edge of the table, and when he hears her breath hitch and her muscles starting to clench around him, he pulls away and stands.

She looks back with a whine already on her lips, but bites her tongue as he presses his cock between her thighs.

“Asha, I--”

“Cullen,” she cuts off his question, already aware of what it’s going to be. She presses back towards him, making his eyes drop closed and his jaw clench. His hand on her waist trembles with restraint, trying not to push into her without permission. “ _ Please.  _ Fuck me.”

He nods, once, a short acknowledgement of her wishes before he presses into her. He moves slowly, not wanting to hurt her, and waits when he’s fully seated in her before he pulls back out with the same agonizing slowness.

That’s all the will he has to prepare her, and she’s pressing against him with barely muffled groans of pleasure that are making him tremble all over. His next thrust is harder, pushing even deeper into her wet heat, and she can’t control the wail it forces out of her.

He moves faster, harder with each thrust, and the table legs creak under their abuse. The sound of skin slapping against skin is sinful, but less so than the lurid moans Asha can’t keep inside. She presses her face against her arms on the table, unable to hold herself up under Cullen’s attentions.

His fingers are almost bruising on her hips, holding her steady as he fucks her, just like she asked. He leans forward to brace one hand against the edge of the table, using it as leverage to pound into her harder. 

Asha twists to look at him over her shoulder, mouth open as she takes gasping breaths. “ _ Maker _ , Cullen,” she whines, trying to meet his thrusts but unable to do much more than take them as she begins to peak. “Yes,  _ yes. _ ”

He tries to continue as she comes around him, but the sight and the sound and the  _ feeling  _ of her orgasm inspires his own, and he can’t stop himself from burying himself deep inside of her as he spills inside of her. He leans forward over her, kissing her spine, her shoulders, nuzzling against the hair at the base of her neck as they calm.

She shudders under his attentions, too sensitive. She opens one eye to peer back at him and smiles. “Thank you.”

Cullen wakes with a gasp, one hand already wrapped around his aching cock in a firm grasp. He shouldn’t be thinking of the Inquisitor like this, shouldn’t be picturing how she would feel under his lips and hands. It’s bad enough that he worked himself to completion after the last dream he had of her, where he was finally able to worship her form the way it deserves, but now…

She’s in Skyhold, just a moment’s walk away in her rooms. He should be more professional. He’s her commander, the leader of her army. He must not allow himself to be distracted like this in her presence.

In the War Room today, he could barely look at her without wanting to kiss her, to taste her, to take her right there on the table, even as she worked with the same level of control always apparent in her manner. She would be embarrassed if she knew the things he thought, the things he dreamed about, the things he imagines when he…

He moves his hand without intending to, and he thrusts into it before he can stop himself. He’s already slightly slick with arousal dripping from the tip; the dream had been so vivid, so lifelike. He can almost imagine the way she tastes…

He gives in to the temptation, to his body’s needs, and slides his thumb over the head of his cock, gathering the wetness to smear along the shaft. He groans, clenching his jaw to muffle the sound, squeezing hard before starting to stroke up and down, following the pattern that had been in his dream.

He pictures the Asha from his dream, naked and bent over before him, round ass against his hips, begging to be touched. He grunts again, still quiet, working himself with fast, efficient strokes until he can feel his orgasm hovering out of reach.

His other hand dips lower, grasping his balls in calloused fingers, tugging just hard enough to push himself over the edge. He comes silently, the way he learned living with three siblings and then a in dorm full of other young men, spilling into his fist and over his stomach.

His strokes become softer, slower as he relaxes, coming down from the high, then he finally groans aloud as embarrassment fills him.

She doesn’t deserve these kinds of thoughts. He’s better than this.  _ She’s  _ better than this.

He closes his eyes and sighs heavily before murmuring, “Andraste preserve me.”


	3. The Inquisitor's Throne

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen tries to work off some of his pent-up energy in Skyhold's sparring ring, but the sight of him fighting the Bull just inspires a new dream for the pair to enjoy.

The Inquisitor is going to leave in the morning for the Western Approach to meet Hawke and Alistair, and Cullen finds a measure of relief in the knowledge. It’s hard to work alongside her, to stand across the table or across his desk from her, with the memory of the dream playing before his eyes, the knowledge that he has touched himself to unworthy thoughts of her.

He’s ashamed, the guilt eating at him almost as much as the lyrium still in his body. To her credit, the Inquisitor seems to be ignoring his awkwardness--or perhaps she’s so unconcerned with him she just hasn’t noticed.

That thought is as comforting as it is depressing, and Cullen clings to it as he strips off his armor and jogs along the battlements to reach the little training ring waiting for him in the upper courtyard. It’s smaller than the one they had set up in Haven, but it’s not designed to hold all of the soldiers at once. They have their own stations set up down in the valley; this one is just for those soldiers who stay in the keep, the Chargers included.

He meets Bull in the ring, scooping up a training sword and shield as he moves through the courtyard. Bull flashes him a grin, teeth glinting in the light, as he selects a maul to fight with. The Qunari tests the new weapon, spinning it in his hands before he turns to join Cullen.

They shake hands before starting, not needing to speak before getting down to business. Bull charges with a roar and Cullen easily steps out of the way, spinning to bring his sword up against Bull’s back. Bull is too far away, already turning to bring the maul down on Cullen’s shoulder, but again he dodges the attack.

He just needs to get in under the maul’s range. The weapon is too large, Bull too strong, for Cullen to safely block some of these swings with his shield. In the field he would break his arm, but even in Skyhold it wouldn’t feel nice.

When Bull offered to help him train, to “work of that extra energy,” Cullen had been afraid for a heart-stopping moment that Bull somehow  _ knew  _ what he had done, what he had thought about the Inquisitor. But the hulking Qunari didn’t seem to have anything untoward in mind, and he never hesitates to say anything else unsavory that crosses his mind.

So it must have just been a friendly offer between two skilled warriors, and Cullen is more than happy to take him up on it. With any luck, he’ll be too exhausted after an afternoon of fighting--instead of yet another afternoon stuck behind his desk, reading reports--to even dream.

He never thought that he’d be troubled so by regular dreams instead of nightmares, with feelings of guilt chasing away the last vestiges of pleasure as the sun dawns.

And yet here he is, fighting with a Qunari spy in the middle of the afternoon to avoid them.

\---

Asha is just trying to pass through the courtyard to find Hawke, she really is, but the sounds of cheering surrounding the sparring ring pulls her off course. She elbows her way through the crowd and finds herself next to Varric, watching the fight with his elbows resting on the low fence.

“What’s--” she starts, but the answer to her unfinished question quickly becomes clear. Bull and Cullen are fighting in the middle of the ring, neither holding back, and it looks like they’ve been at it for hours. Surely not, surely Cullen wouldn’t be comfortable leaving his desk for so long. It’s like pulling teeth to get him to play chess with her in the gardens, especially recently.

But both men are sweating even in the mild heat of the afternoon, showing they’ve been at it for a while. Cullen’s cheeks are pink with exertion, his tunic ripped along one of the shoulders, exposing one muscular arm to the gathered crowd.

Asha’s eyes narrow as she notices the tear, wishing suddenly that Cullen fought shirtless as Bull does. She shakes herself as the thought rages through her body, squeezing her eyes shut for just a moment before allowing herself to drink the sight in again.

It is… glorious. There’s no denying, watching the pair struggle for dominance, that the sight is arousing her almost as much as her dreams have been. She presses her thighs together and cants her head to the side, crossing her arms over her chest as she watches. She makes sure her face is as neutral as possible, betraying no emotion other than mild approval or enjoyment, as the men continue.

She thinks she sees Bull glance up at her, but there’s no way he can pick her out of a crowd so quickly, before he makes a misstep. He swings too widely, his arms leaving too much of a gap, and Cullen quickly takes advantage of it. He steps against Bull’s side, moving low, and hits him in the ribs with the practice sword.

It’s a killing blow, and Bull knows it. He drops his maul to the dirt and dips his head in defeat. Cullen grins, the scar pulling the right corner up higher, and bows to the Qunari. Bull claps Cullen on the shoulder and turns to leave, ignoring the jeers from the Chargers at his loss, loudly offering to buy everyone drinks in the tavern.

Cullen pauses to wipe at his face with the hem of his shirt, exposing his stomach to the crowd. Asha catches her breath in her throat to stop from gasping or making any other noise that would alert those surrounding her to her reaction to seeing, in real life, the perfect expanse of muscles she’s been dreaming about.

His face dry and the sweat no longer threatening to drip into his eyes, Cullen looks up and immediately locks gazes with Asha. Her cheeks are as pink as his, but from embarrassment and arousal rather than exertion. He inhales sharply and looks away, then back to her.

Their eyes have met; he can’t pretend not to see her.

He crosses the training ring to stand before her, and she watches his every movement. He squares his shoulders and remembers how to act the commander, hoping the false sense of bravado will fool her into thinking he’s not ashamed of himself.

“Inquisitor,” he greets, ignoring the way her lip curls at the title. She doesn’t like being called Inquisitor, and he knows this. He ignores it for the sake of propriety. “Are you here to fight as well?”

She takes a deep breath, finally, and shakes her head before she can form words. “I was looking for Hawke, and I…” she hesitates, the words  _ got distracted  _ stuck on her tongue. “I wanted to see what the commotion was.”

“Ah.” He smiles slightly down at her, clears his throat, and looks over at Varric. The dwarf is just beaming up at the pair of them, and his smirk only grows when he draws Cullen’s attention. “I should… go back to my office,” he says finally, looking back up at Asha.

She nods. “Of course. There have probably been twelve emergencies while you were gone.”

He laughs, a little huff, but it’s enough to make her smile back at him.

She watches as he walks away, face burning, and knows exactly what she’ll be dreaming of tonight.

\---

The Great Hall is empty when Cullen finally joins her. She’s waiting on the throne, legs crossed under her as she watches him march slowly from the rotunda door. His head is held high, his shoulders square, and he is, thankfully, already out of his armor. It feels like it takes him forever to make it across the hall to her, but that’s the way of dreams, isn’t it?

The anticipation makes her shiver, and she remembers him from that afternoon, sweating in the training ring, his curls askew, shirt ripped, and she bites her lip.

He pauses near the door to Josephine’s office and looks down at himself, frowning when he sees his shirt is dirty and ripped along the shoulder again. He shouldn’t be approaching the Inquisitor in such disarray, it isn’t appropriate for her to see him like this. When he looks up at her and sees her smile, he forgets his desire for propriety and walks up onto the dais.

He kneels before her, bowing his head. “My lady, I apologize--”

“You don’t need to kneel before me, Cullen, or apologize for anything.” He looks up at her, eyes wide, but doesn’t stand. She leans forward in her chair, stretching her legs out so that she can rest her elbows on her knees. “Come here.”

She reaches one hand out for him, and he moves closer without standing. He leans his hands on the seat of the throne, leaning in until their noses brush together. She closes her eyes and smiles, running her hands over his shoulders and down his arms, feeling the muscles she so often admires before she rips the dangling sleeve off with a smirk.

“Are you sure this is a good idea?”

She opens her eyes again to frown at him even as he rests his forehead against hers. She runs her hands back up his arms to cup his face, allowing herself to enjoy the feeling of scruff under her fingers before she speaks.

“I can’t think of a better idea, love.”

His eyes open at the pet name, amber burning into green. Her face heats under his scrutiny, but she doesn’t back down, and he finally,  _ finally,  _ closes the distance between them with a searing kiss. She gasps as a shiver rolls through her, and he immediately dips his tongue into her mouth to draw a moan from her.

Cullen moves closer, pressing her back into the throne, crowding over her as she leans back as far as she can, her knees on either side of his hips. 

Uncomfortable, he grunts and pulls her into his arms as he stands. He turns them both, sitting on the throne and setting her comfortably in his lap. She sighs contentedly and twists her hips until she’s flush against him and he has to muffle a grunt under her attentions.

He leans back in and nibbles along her jaw, making her lean her head back with a small sigh. His kisses grow hotter, his tongue working against the skin of her throat as he makes his way to the front of her tunic. He unbuttons it slowly, kissing each new inch of skin exposed to him.

When he pushes it off of her shoulders, it falls unheeded to the floor of the dais as he buries his face between her breasts, nipping and sucking at the sensitive flesh. She grinds against him as she feels his arousal growing between them, matching her own as her smalls quickly dampen.

“Cullen.” He sits up, meeting her gaze as she speaks his name. His hands still on her hips, halting their progress down to her ass. “I want to try something.”

He nods. “Anything.”

Her face lights up as she smiles, leaning in to capture his lips with hers briefly before sliding out of his lap. He frowns at the loss, but his mouth drops open as she kneels in front of him.

“Inquisitor, you don’t--”

She freezes, one hand on his upper thigh. “Don’t call me that. Not here.”

He nods. “Asha. I’m sorry. You don’t have to do this.”

“I want to.” She pauses, pulling her hand back to rest on his knee as she tilts her head to look at him. “You don’t want me to?”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath, shifting his hips in a way that almost answers her question for her, but she waits for him to speak. “I-- I do want this. You. Please.” His voice is just a whisper as he finishes speaking, and she flashes him a smile before reaching back to undo his trouser ties.

He leans back in the throne, casting an uneasy gaze around the hall, making sure it’s empty before Asha manages to pull his cock free of its confines. She strokes it, running her thumb over the crown, grinning up at him as his eyes flutter shut under her attentions.

She waits only a moment before rising up on her knees to lick up the bitter liquid waiting for her. She sighs in contentment at the taste and takes him in her mouth, experimentally dipping her head down to see how deep she can take him. Cullen’s strangled moan encourages her as she moves along his shaft, licking as she moves and holding the base of him with one hand. She takes him in again and again, a little deeper each time, until she feels him brush against the back of her throat.

His hands find her hair, pulling it out of her face so she can work him more easily. She glances up at him in thanks, and the sight of his parted lips and heaving chest sends a jolt of arousal straight between her thighs. She moans quietly, squeezing her eyes shut as she swallows him down, the vibration pulling an answering moan from Cullen’s throat.

He fills her mouth as well as he fills her cunt, and the taste makes her wish she could do this in real life instead of just in the Fade. She moans again and can’t keep her free hand from slipping into her own trousers, seeking the wetness between her thighs. 

Cullen watches as she begins to work herself as she swallows him down and can’t help the grunts of pleasure escaping his lips or the shallow thrusts of his hips into her waiting mouth. Her own moans echo through him, pushing him to the edge faster than he thought possible. 

He’s never known a woman to pleasure herself while servicing him, and the sight is…

He tugs on her hair still fisted in his hand as a warning, his orgasm now unavoidable, but the motion only surprises a cry out of her as she comes with her lips still wrapped around his cock. He thrusts up into her once, burying himself as deep as he can before he spills down her throat.

She pulls away from him and swallows, grinning up at him as she licks her lips. He grabs her chin and pulls her up for a kiss, delving his tongue deep into her mouth to taste himself on her tongue. She shudders, gripping at his bare arm with one hand, and pulls away.

He takes a deep breath. “Thank you.”

Her eyes shine at him, and she sighs softly. “No. Thank you.” She slips her wet fingers between her lips and barely has time to hear him moan before she wakes.


	4. In the Oasis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sand of the Western Approach drives Asha to wish for an oasis. As always, Cullen joins her.

“I just. I really hate sand.” Asha stands just outside of camp, desperately trying to shake all of the grains of sand out of her bedroll.

Dorian approaches her with a bottle of wine, the cork pressed back in the neck, and offers it to her. She takes a deep swig and sighs as the cool liquid slides down her throat. “It could be worse, my dear,” he says. “We could be back in the Fallow Mire.”

She purses her lip and passes the wine back to him. “I think I’d rather be there than here. This is… ugh. What I wouldn’t give for a bath. Or oh,” she turns to Dorian with wide eyes and a smile growing on her face. “An oasis. With palm trees and a waterfall. That would be  _ perfect. _ ”

Dorian just laughs. “What an imagination you have, cousin. You would love the bath houses of Minrathous.” He gives her a cursory glance as a smirk twists his lips. “The bath houses of Minrathous would love  _ you. _ ”

“Oh.” She turns away and gives her bedroll another firm shake. “Stop being ridiculous.”

The mage’s grey eyes narrow as he considers the blush gracing her cheekbones, barely noticeable under the redness from traveling in the sun, then shakes his head. “Come, now. Dinner’s almost ready. You wouldn’t want to miss Cassandra’s turn with the stew, now would you?”

He quirks an eyebrow at her and she laughs. The sound eases something on his face, and he smiles back at her, offering her his elbow. He escorts her back to camp, her thoughts of an oasis turning into a daydream to get her through the next week in the Approach.

\---

“Oh, this is lovely.” Asha immediately begins stripping out of her armor, leaving it in an unceremonious pile on the edge of the river. A waterfall flows from the top of the canyon, splashing into the deep pool at its base, and she wades into the water with a loud groan.

If this was what she truly found in the Approach, she’d never want to leave. The heat she can stand--it’s not that much different from growing up in Antiva, and the humidity is low enough that her wavy hair doesn’t expand into uncontrollable frizz. It’s just the  _ sand  _ that’s the problem, and this little oasis is everything she wanted.

She dives into the water, swimming beneath its surface with open eyes and a wide smile. She stretches out sore muscles, the cool water soothing without making her shiver.

When she comes back up for air, she lets herself float at the surface stretched out on her back, gazing up at the moons high overhead. 

“I thought I’d find you here.”

Asha squeaks in surprise, immediately turning toward the source of the voice, wishing she had a dagger on her. When she sees Cullen standing at the edge of the pool with his hands on his hips, she relaxes and swims toward him for a few strokes.

She grins and stops several feet away, sending a half-hearted wave in his direction. “Did you miss me?”

His face softens. “Of course. May I join you?”

“Please do.”

She swims backwards, keeping the water up to her chin as she watches him strip down. He leaves his clothes in a pile next to hers before wading in, swimming confidently as the pool becomes too deep to comfortably walk. He reaches for her immediately, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her body against his with a little smirk.

She responds immediately, arms encircling his shoulders and legs encircling his waist to hold her body tight to his. Her lips meet his, softly, and she makes a contented little sigh as she feels his arousal already pressing against her ass under the water.

“You did miss me.” She rests her forehead against his for a moment, just breathing in his scent.

Cullen’s lips twist into a full smile as his hands caress her back and she shudders under his touch. “I always miss you. I--” he stops, blushing, and searches for something else to say. “I’m pleased to see you’re safe.”

“Mmm.” Her quiet hum of agreement is the only sound shared between them for a long moment as they float in the water, just becoming reaquainted with each other’s touch after so long apart.

His hands start wandering soon, smoothing down her back to her ass, squeezing the firm muscles there before running his hands over her thighs, then back up to her breasts. She leans back from him to give his hands room to work, and he takes advantage of the space to lean down and kiss the hollow of her throat, bite at her collarbone, nuzzle the space between her breasts until he can pull one dusky nipple into his mouth.

Her little moans grow louder as he works her nipples into tight peaks, her hips unconsciously seeking friction against his stomach. He chuckles, one hand slipping between them to cup at her mound with one hand, the other still supporting her ass. She bucks against his fingers, a whine escaping her as his thumb brushes through her curls.

“Oh, I missed this too,” he breathes, pressing inside of her. “I love how you feel when you’re so wet for me.” She whines again as he easily slips two fingers into her, his thumb remaining to brush against her clit. “I love the noises you make when I’m inside of you.”

She sighs, eyes squeezing shut as she rests her forehead against his. “More, Cullen.  _ Please _ .”

He laughs, a breathless sound, and obeys. His fingers work inside of her, seeking the right spot that will make her lose control of her voice. When he finds it, her fingers tighten around his shoulders, nails digging into the skin of his back as her surprised moan fills his ears.

“Is this what you want?” She can’t even speak, just nods breathlessly as he tears another groan from between her lips. “Is this what you think about alone in your tent at night? My fingers inside of you?”

She nods again, one hand winding through his curls to hold his hair tight in her fist. He hisses at the little spark of pain and moves his hand faster, his thumb rubbing her clit with more insistence. She trembles in his arms, chest heaving with each breath. Her grip tightens in his hair and on his back, her thighs gripping his waist tighter as she begins to climax.

And that’s when he pulls his hand away, shifting to hold her by both thighs instead. She opens her eyes, anger flashing through them, until she feels the tip of his cock pressing against her cunt.

“I want to be inside you when you come,” he says, voice hoarse. “I want to feel you.”

She nods, once, then groans, “Yes,” as he slides agonizingly slowly inside of her. 

When he’s fully inside of her, he waits, letting her adjust even as he teases her with the sensation of being filled. 

After a moment, she leans back and uses her grip on his waist to push her hips away from him before slamming them back together, wresting a loud groan from him. He leans forward to capture her lips with his as he grabs her hips in a bruising grip to help her fuck him.

Their movements make waves in the water, lapping against their heated skin as they scramble to be as close as possible. After a moment, Cullen moves them toward the waterfall, slipping under the water to the cliff wall behind it, pressing Asha against it.

She laughs and wipes at her face, pushing her wet hair away from her eyes. She does the same for him, lovingly stroking his face before he begins again, thrusting into her with as much power as he can under the water.

She presses her hands to the wall behind her, meeting Cullen’s movements with ones of her own, taking him deep. Each thrust pushes a cry from her lips, echoing around the little oasis, driving Cullen mad with every sound.

She shudders under his attentions, trembling with each snap of his hips against hers. She wants to chase her pleasure but at the same time she never wants this feeling to end. She always wakes when she finishes, and she wants to stay in Cullen’s arms until the sun rises and she’s forced to wakefulness to fight more Venatori in the Approach.

He holds on as long as she does, but when she comes with a cry, he immediately follows her. He buries his face in the crook of her neck and bites down as his thrusts become erratic before he spills himself into her, drawing out her orgasm with the twin sensations at her throat and in her cunt.

She wraps her arms around his shoulders and wishes with all her might that this was real, that she could feel him inside of her and hold him after in her room, and not wake in a tent next to Cassandra.

When he presses a gentle kiss over the bruise on her neck, she can almost imagine Cullen wishing the same thing too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little shorter this time, but I think the rest of the chapters get progressively longer.


	5. Griffon Wing Keep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The new Knight-Captain of Griffon Wing Keep captures Asha’s attention, but Cullen isn’t so friendly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be traveling tomorrow, and instead of making you wait for the new chapter I'm posting it a day early :)

“The Approach isn’t so terrible from up here,” she comments, glancing over at Rylen. He looks surprised for a moment, returning her gaze, but nods.

“Ahh--yes, your worship.” He takes a step closer, hands clasped behind his back, and stands at attention by her side, missing the way her nose wrinkles at the appellation.

“Please don’t call me that,” she says, crossing her arms and leaning forward on the wall surrounding the Keep’s uppermost floor. “I hate that.”

Rylen turns to look at her, relaxing enough to lean against the wall with one hip to study the Inquisitor. The dry desert wind makes her dark hair swirl around her face, and she reaches up with one hand to tuck a lock behind her ear. He watches the lean muscle of her arm in her sleeveless tunic ripple as she moves, eyes the thick layer of freckles across her skin.

She looks over at him, eyebrows raised, and his face heats under her scrutiny. He looks away, out over the sand, and sighs a little. “I’m sorry, your--ahh,” he pauses, casting about for something appropriate to call her. “Lady Trevelyan.”

She sighs at the title but lets it be. “There’s still sand everywhere,” she mutters. “What did you even do to get sent all the way out here, Rylen? Piss in the commander’s boots?”

This startles a laugh out of him; his head tilts back and the sound echoes through the empty keep. She grins at him, lips a little lopsided, and waits for his answer.

“I volunteered, your--my lady.” When Asha’s gaze turns incredulous, he finds himself blushing again, and he squares his shoulders to make up for it. “It’s very warm in Starkhaven, and it was very cold in Skyhold.”

She laughs a little, turning to face him as he’s facing her. Her marked hand rests flat on the crenelation, her right hand on her hip, and she smiles up at him. “Are you warm enough now, Rylen?”

He’s actually  _ too  _ warm, but he’s not about to admit that to the Inquisitor, not with the way she’s smiling up at him. He opens his mouth to reply, but she steps closer, just close enough to make Rylen’s breath catch in his throat. What is she…

Her hand is traveling through the air, aimed at his unarmored chest, when the clang of armored boots on stone alerts them to an approaching soldier. They both turn, Rylen jumping guiltily as Asha just raises her eyebrows and glances over her shoulder.

Cullen crosses the keep to them in full armor, his shoulders squared and his jaw set. His amber eyes flash as he takes in the scene before him, flicking from Rylen to Asha and back again.

“Knight-Captain,” he greets, resting his hands on the pommel of his sword. “Are all of the soldiers settling in well?”

Asha looks from one man to the other, watching as the tension rises between them.

Rylen swallows hard and nods, belatedly remembering to salute his commanding officer. “Yes, ser.”

Cullen clenches his jaw and a moment passes where none of them breathe. His eyes bore into Asha’s as he considers what to do, and the heat there makes her cheeks flush and warmth pool in her belly. She looks away, down at her feet, to try and hide her reaction from him.

But he saw it, he must have seen it, because he turns that hard gaze back on Rylen and sends the templar scurrying away before turning to trap Asha against the keep’s outer walls with his arms. He places one on either side of her, leaning into her until she has to tilt her head back to see what he’s doing.

She opens her mouth to ask what he’s doing, but he stops her words before they can escape by pressing his mouth hard against hers. Their teeth clack together as Cullen surges forward, pressing her into the keep’s walls with his body. Her little grunt of irritation is quickly transformed into a moan of pleasure as Cullen’s tongue delves into her mouth, soothing away the pain and sending shivers through her.

When he finally breaks their kiss, leaving her dizzy and clinging to the collar of his breastplate for support, he only moves far enough away to rest his forehead against hers. She whines at the loss of contact, trying to recapture his lips, but he stays just out of reach of her questing mouth.

“Would you prefer I leave you to Rylen?” he asks, voice gravelly. She shakes her head once, fast, and tightens her hold on his armor. “Perhaps I am not enough for you and I should go and fetch him. You seemed happy enough before I found you.” He starts to pull away, and she whimpers, tugging him back against her with all of her strength. 

He obliges, pressing his hips against hers, only stoking the fire growing between them. One hand moves from the wall to cup her jaw, then slips lower until his fingers are resting on her neck, his thumb stretched across the base of her throat.

Her lips part slightly on a deep inhale, and she melts into him even more, tilting her head back until his lips twist into a smirk and his fingers tighten.

She moans quietly, almost a whimper, at the feeling, and his body responds to the sound. He presses his hardened length against her, rolling his hips once, and then again when she moans and parts her legs for him. She lifts one leg to wrap around his waist, and he uses his free hand to grasp her thigh.

“You want me to stay?” Cullen leans in until his lips brush against her ear as he speaks, making goosebumps break out across her skin. She shivers even as she nods, and Cullen rewards her with a gentle kiss against her pulse point. “Tell me.”

It takes her a moment to find her voice with the way Cullen’s lips are still working over her neck, his clothed cock still pressing against her core, the little shivers still making their way through her body, but she drags a shuddering breath into her lungs and says, “Yes, Cullen.  _ Please.  _ I want you. Only you. I’m yours.”

Cullen growls against her skin, thrusting against her as he bites down. He laves the spot with his tongue, then latches onto it until a dark bruise appears, marking her as his for anyone who might see.

When he pulls away again, moving both hands to grasp her waist and lift her onto the wall before him, he smiles and his work. He touches the bruise with his thumb, watching the way her eyes darken at the light pressure on her skin.

“Say it again.”

She blinks at him, confusion clouding her gaze, before her lips twist into a smirk and her legs hook around his hips to bring them into contact again. His eyes fall shut and he hisses through clenched teeth as she searches for and then releases the clasps of his armor. 

The pieces fall to the stone floor with loud crashes--if Cullen were awake, he would  _ never _ treat his armor like this, but here it doesn’t matter--and as soon as she can she brings his body flush against hers.

She winds her fingers into his hair and presses their cheeks together. As his fingers dig into the flesh of her hips under her tunic, she whispers, “I’m yours.”

“Mine.”

As soon as the word escapes him, his hands are on her. They’re tugging, ripping at her clothes until she’s bare to him and the hot winds of the Approach. He pulls the tie from her hair until it flows in waves down her neck, tickling over her freckled shoulders, then tangles his fingers in it to pull her face against his.

He nips at her full lower lip before soothing the bite with his tongue as Asha yanks at his own clothes. He refuses to move far enough away from her to let her undress him choosing instead to keep his hips pressing into hers and his free hand roaming over her taut flesh.

She moans and squirms against him, little grunts escaping her as his mouth finds new places to caress and explore. He tilts her head back and leaves more marks across her throat and chest, working his way down until he reaches her breasts.

As soon as he begins giving her nipples the same attention he’s given her throat, her cries grow louder, echoing across the empty expanse around them. His hand releases her hair and dips between her thighs, thumb teasing through the arousal starting to drip from her.

She bucks against his hand, trying to force the pressure she needs. Cullen laughs, a chuckle against her chest that makes her shiver again. The sensation is too much and she pulls at his hair, hard enough to make him stand completely. 

She takes advantage of the new space between them to attack his tunic, yanking at it until it rips along a weak spot and tears right down the middle. She grins, pleased with herself, and momentarily forgets her goal as she runs her hands over chiseled muscles now exposed to her.

Her thumbnail catches one flat nipple, and he grunts again at her. His fingers tighten around her thighs, pushing them farther apart as she leans forward and finally pulls his trouser ties loose. She pushes them down until they fall around his boots and immediately grasps his cock, holding it in a firm grip as she strokes it from thick base to swollen tip.

Cullen leans his head back and sighs under her attentions, fingers almost bruising her as his hips push forward of their own accord, seeking his pleasure.

When his eyes finally snap open again, it’s because Asha’s grabbed at his hair with her hand to guide his face to hers. She kisses him firmly, tongue immediately seeking his, and she pulls his hips closer to hers. She teases the tip of his cock against her folds, letting him feel how ready she is for him, and she smiles as she feels his whole body shudder with barely restrained need.

He grinds his teeth together before pressing his forehead against hers. He steps closer into her embrace, easing inside of her until they’re joined completely. She shifts her hips at the intrusion, a satisfied sigh making its way out of her chest.

He stands up straight and gently cups her face with one hand, stroking across her cheek with his thumb. The moment of sweetness catches her off guard, her stomach clenching, but it leaves almost as soon as it comes.

His grip tightens and his lips twist into a smirk.

“Mine,” he says, and he doesn’t wait another moment before he pulls almost all the way out and thrusts back into her cunt.

He sets a punishing pace, moving quickly, his hands on her thighs holding her open and in place on the wall. Her hands scrabble on his skin, trying to hold herself against him and meet his thrusts at the same time. 

Cullen is unconcerned with the way his trousers have tangled around his knees or the way his curls are starting to bounce down into his face, his whole focus on the pleasure building between them. He chases it, ignoring the sweat trickling down the back of his neck, ignoring--no,  _ enjoying  _ the sharp lances of pain that come from her blunt fingernails digging into the muscles of his arms.

“Mine,” he grunts again, pulling a high-pitched whine from her throat. He bends over her, biting at her neck and throat, growling against her skin as she twists to return the favor, marking him once before he pulls away.

“Mine,” he repeats, moving impossibly faster within her, one hand coming to their joining to brush over her clit. “Mine. My love, my--”

She shatters with his voice in her ear and his fingers teasing at her core. She scratches at his back where her fingernails still desperately want to pull him closer, breaking the skin as she loses herself to the sensations swallowing her whole.

She barely registers when Cullen joins her in orgasm, his seed filling her as he muffles his roar by biting at her shoulder.

She shudders, smoothing her hands over his back as he holds her, clutching her closer.

“Mine,” he says again, and all she can do is nod before she wakes.

\---

Rylen wakes with a jolt, sitting straight up in his cot with a gasp. The vivid dream he just escaped plays itself through his mind again, making him blush even as blood surges to the last place he wants it right now.

It’s bad enough that he dreamed about the Inquisitor flirting with him--had she even been flirting?--but to be chased out of his own opportunity with her by the commander and then to watch as they claimed each other…

He swallows hard and rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes, pushing until he sees stars. He needs something  _ anything  _ to chase away the image of the Inquisitor screaming her release, the flexing of the commander’s buttocks as he fucked her...

Rylen jumps from his bed and paces around the room, ignoring the bulge in his pants in favor of the embarrassment coursing through his veins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies to the Knight-Captain.
> 
> UPDATE. A few people expressed disappointment that Cullen chased Rylen away instead of letting our favorite tattooed Marcher join in the fun. That's been fixed in a [BONUS chapter](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9896123), now available for your viewing pleasure.


	6. After the Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When she's injured during a dragon fight, all Asha wants to do is be back at Skyhold with her commander.

Asha’s entire body is sore. She aches from every muscle, particularly the ones recently knitted back together around her side. The damned Abyssal dragon slapped her, threw her across the sand until she slammed into one of the few remaining stone pillars, knocking her breath out of her lungs and breaking a few ribs.

Dorian had fussed over her long after he should have, knitting bones and muscle back together to the best of his ability, pressing healing and regeneration potions onto her until she was forced to ask Bull to distract him for her.

And based on how long they’ve been missing from camp, the distraction is going  _ particularly  _ well.

She can’t do much more than lay still, letting the magical effects of the potions work in her body. She’s exhausted from the healing, the fight with the dragon, from trekking around in the blighted desert for days on end, and she just wants to go back home.

She misses Cullen. The dreams she’s been having and the letters they’ve been exchanging are a poor substitute for actually being near him, even if  _ near  _ him is as close as she gets. War Room meetings that last for hours and chess matches that sometimes take just a few minutes are all she has of him, and she finds even that fleeting contact means more to her than the raciest of dreams.

She slips into the Fade still thinking of him, longing to be in his arms and to be held by him, promising herself that she’ll speak with him as soon as she returns home.

When she blinks her eyes open again, she’s in Cullen’s room, the one above his office. She’s nestled in his bed, the blankets tucked around her tired form, and she can’t help but smile as she inhales deeply of his scent still clinging to the pillows. It’s dark, and she can see the stars through the ridiculous hole in his roof.

It’s beautiful, in its way, though she’d still prefer to be somewhere warm.

Or to have him with her.

Just as this thought passes through her mind, she hears someone climbing the ladder. She waits, completely relaxed in his bed, until he appears and sits next to her. He reaches out with one large hand and smoothes her hair away from her face, smiling down at her.

“Are you well?” His voice is low, nearly a whisper. It’s all that’s needed in this small space, and she shivers a little, both from the chill and the dulcet sounds of his voice.

She nods and grabs his hand with hers. “Just a little sore and tired from today,” she murmurs. “Will you lay with me?”

He nods. “Of course.” He stands to undress before slipping in the bed next to her, curling against her side. She turns into him, tucking her face against his chest, reveling in the warmth radiating off of him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She’s silent for a long moment, just enjoying the feeling of his hand stroking over her hair, before she answers, “It wasn’t anything special,” she mutters, nuzzling closer. The temptation proves too great, and she presses a kiss to the center of his chest before continuing. “I got hurt fighting a dragon and they sent me to bed to recover. I’ll feel fine tomorrow.”

Cullen’s hand stills on her back as his whole body tenses. She waits patiently, eyes drooping, before it resumes its slow massage. “I… was not aware fighting a dragon is ‘nothing special’.” An edge of irritation creeps into his voice, but his hand doesn’t still again.

She shrugs against him, pressing another kiss to his heated skin. “It’s fine.  _ I’m _ fine. I just…” she takes a breath, nearly choking on the rest of her sentence before it comes out of her mouth. This is a dream, though, and it’s a good opportunity to practice… “I miss you when I’m away,” she forces out. “I want to be with you all the time, not just--” She stops again, nearly spilling out the secret of her dreams. Even  _ in  _ a dream she can’t say it, the words once more getting stuck before she can share them. Her face heats as she pushes past the embarrassment, changing the tone of her confession. “Don’t be mad at me for fighting another dragon, please. Just hold me?”

Cullen’s face presses against the top of her head and his arms pull her closer against his chest. She’s completely pressed against him now, body completely warmed from his attentions, and she sighs in quiet contentment.

After several minutes of silently holding each other, Cullen’s voice breaks the quiet. “I am not angry with you for fighting a dragon,” he explains. “I worry about you.”

Asha shifts in his arms until she can see his face, their noses nearly brushing together. “I had the Bull with me,” she says reasonably. “And lots of health potions. I’m fine. I’m safe. I’m… with you, now.”

He sighs and rests his forehead against hers, letting his eyes drop closed as they lay twined together, breathing each other’s air. “I wish…” he pauses and sighs, then seems to regain his courage. “I wish you could stay with me.”

“Oh,” she breathes, reaching up with one hand to rest her hand on his cheek. The motion feels natural, safe, and his smile mirrors her own. She guides his lips to hers, and they share a soft kiss. “I would love that.”

Cullen smiles and his eyes crinkle at the corners. “I would love that as well. And I… I love you.” His cheeks heat as he says it, but he doesn’t look away from her, doesn’t shy away from the emotions exposed by his words.

She opens her mouth to say something, anything, to say it  _ back  _ to him even if it’s a dream, but he rolls them before she has a chance. He settles easily between her legs, supporting his weight on his forearms. They’re chest to chest now, and Asha responds instinctively, bending her knees and spreading her thighs wider to give him more room.

She tries to speak once more, but he kisses her instead, pulling on her lower lip with both of his. She sighs and gives up, closing her eyes and chasing his kiss. He gives it to her freely, his tongue caressing hers and pulling a groan from her throat.

They kiss slowly, languorously, Cullen apparently worried about hurting her more after her dragon fight. The thought is sweet, but the heat building in Asha won’t be ignored. She runs her hands down his bare back under the blanket, reaching as far as she can towards his ass, then drags her nails back up his skin. He shudders and presses his hips against hers, rolling them slightly in a motion now familiar to both of them.

She makes a tiny sound of need, and Cullen rolls his hips again. She angles hers up to meet him, gasping when his clothed erection brushes against her center.

This isn’t what she had in mind when she fell asleep, but it’s more than what she needs. It’s perfect, filling her with a joy she hasn’t felt in… she isn’t sure how long, and she can’t help but keen for him as she pulls him closer with hands roaming over his body.

She shivers again, overcome with the sudden need to have him inside of her  _ now _ . She pushes against his shoulder, and he rolls easily onto his back, his hands on her waist pulling her with him until she’s straddling him on the bed.

She sits up, letting the blanket fall around her waist, exposing her naked breasts to both Cullen and the cold night air. His eyes widen slightly like he’s never seen her before, and his hands blaze a trail up to her stomach, where they stop just over the jut of her hip bones as though he isn’t sure he’s allowed to do more than look.

She shifts her weight back until she’s straddling his thighs instead of his hips, moving out of reach of his hands. She plucks at his trouser ties, easily unraveling the knot until she can push the offending fabric away from her goal.

His cock lies hot and heavy against his thigh, and Cullen makes a groan of appreciation when she frees it from its confines. He reaches for her again, hands landing on her thighs as she squeezes and strokes his length, her calloused fingers working skillfully along his shaft.

She licks her lips and considers the liquid gathering at the tip for a moment, torn between her desire to take him in her mouth and her need to have him inside of her, before she settles for swirling her thumb through the slick and cleaning it off with her tongue.

She doesn’t waste another moment, leaning forward to capture his lips with hers as she positions him between her legs, aiming him and holding him steady so that she can sink down on top of him, enveloping his cock completely in her heat.

They groan into each other’s mouths, shuddering at the sensations. When their hips are pressed together, Asha waits, moving to prop both hands on either side of his head. She rests her forehead against his, breathing deeply, and when she opens her eyes again he’s already gazing up at her.

His honey eyes are bright even in the dim light of his room, shining up at her like she’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. Still gazing into their depths, Asha raises herself up on her knees and sinks back down, a little groan escaping her throat.

Cullen’s hands rest on her hips, holding on tight as she moves. He guides her, helps her movements stay slow and deep, curling her toes with each well-aimed thrust. He begins moving with her, thrusting up as she comes down, chasing after the sensations she provides him.

Their breaths come faster as they move together, an easy rhythm growing between them. Their lips are never far apart, both of them reaching for kisses between guttural moans. Asha’s toes curl and she clenches her jaw as a whine escapes her, her pleasure growing even sharper as Cullen obeys her body’s need for  _ more  _ and slips his hand to their joining to thumb at her little bundle of nerves.

She moves her hands to the headboard, using it as leverage to push harder against him, throwing her head back as she surrenders to the sensations guiding her higher and higher. Her dark hair cascades over one shoulder, and Cullen reaches up with his free hand to tangle his fingers in it, tugging her down to press his lips against hers.

The tug makes her shudder, pushing her right to the edge of her waiting orgasm and holding her there. She whines into his mouth and wraps her lips around his tongue to suck it into her mouth. He gasps, his fingers tugging tighter in her hair and his thumb pressing harder against her clit.

She releases him as she winds even tighter, continually pressing into him as she shudders into her release. It beckons to her, begging her to fall into it, and as it begins to swallow her up her mouth opens in a warning to the handsome man waiting under her.

“Ah, ah,” she moans, voice rising to a squeak, “oh, Cullen. I, I, I love you.” The last word drags out in a cry as she comes undone, waves of pleasure breaking over her as she presses his cock deep inside of her, body tensing against his thumb still working her clit, drawing her orgasm out until her body unclenches and she can swat his hand away.

He laughs, the sound light and airy, and it draws her attention back to the man under her. He’s beaming up at her, the biggest smile on his face that she’s ever seen, and as soon as their eyes meet, he rolls them, flipping them easily without breaking apart from her.

When she’s settled on her back, he cups her head with both of his hands, holding her still so he can cover her face and neck with feather-light kisses. She closes her eyes under his assault, leaning her head back and resting trembling hands on his back.

Satisfied that he’s covered every inch of her face with kisses, he nuzzles against the underside of her jaw. She rubs her palms up and down his back, soothing circles as her body relaxes under him.

“Are you okay?” he asks, voice rough and raw at the edges. She can only nod, breathless still. “I want to…” his hips shift, moving his cock still buried deep inside of her, finishing his request without words. It brushes against her overstimulated flesh, pulling a whine from her throat, and he immediately stills.

She takes a deep breath and draws her knees back, shifting under him until she can manage a shallow thrust of her own, her muscles still trembling in the aftermath of her orgasm. Cullen groans, burying his face in her neck as he tries to hold his hips still, not wanting to push her too hard or too fast, but she repeats the motion, tugging at the tight muscles in his back to encourage him to move.

“Please,” she breathes, voice quiet. “I need you.” She tugs at his back again and he complies, slowly resuming the motion that makes her squirm underneath him.

He doesn’t pick up speed, keeping his thrusts deep but slow, constantly pressing his lips to her exposed skin.

She sighs under him, already relaxing under his touch. Pleasure begins to build in her again as his torturously slow thrusts tease her, and she reaches as far as she can toward his ass before digging her nails once more into his skin.

He hisses at the light burst of pain, pushing himself up on his arms to look down at her.

She smiles up at him, repeating the motion, earning herself a deep growl that reverberates from the center of his chest. He reaches down and grabs her calf, pulling her leg away from her body to open her up to him. He holds it there, resting his hand against his mattress so that her knee hooks around his elbow, helping them move together.

She whines under his attentions, sliding one hand up to tangle in his golden curls while the other rests on his back, fingers feeling the undulation of his muscles as he continues thrusting into her.

It’s all too much for her. The feeling of him inside of her, against her skin, pressing her into the bed and holding her open without a thought, without a strain of his muscles. The sight of him over her, jaw clenched as he tries to hold back his pleasure for the sake of her own, the bead of sweat sliding down his forehead, the curls he tries so hard to tame becoming uncontrollable as his body heat rises. The sounds of his quiet grunts as he fills her over and over, of his breath coming in short gasps.

It’s all  _ too much  _ and she comes again with a scream, her body clenching tight to Cullen’s, pulling him over the edge with her. He thrusts faster, losing his natural rhythm, before spilling into her with a roar muffled against her throat. His teeth sink into the soft flesh of her shoulder, holding her tight against him as he fills her.

He collapses atop her, pressing her into the bed with all his weight. She huffs out a laugh, wrapping arms and legs around him to pull him tightly against her. He groans against her skin, trembling, and she presses a kiss to his temple.

“Did you mean it?” His words are hard to understand with his lips pressed against her skin, but she hears him well enough to smile and clutch him tighter.

“Of course. I love you.” She smooths her hand through his curls, a laugh bubbling up in her chest despite the seriousness of her words. Of course she would fall in love with a man too devoted to his job to notice her, too devoted to Andraste to notice that Her Herald is head over heels for him.

And of course she can only be honest with him in the Fade. 

He sighs heavily, not bothering to move to pull his softening cock from her core or to lift his weight from her chest. He does sit up enough to press a loving kiss to her pulse, then another to the patch of skin just under her ear.

“I love you too,” he breathes. “I wish…” he trails off and shakes his head, moving to capture her lips in a gentle, lingering kiss. “I love you too.”

\---

Cullen wakes with a startled groan, pushing himself up onto his elbows from where his face was buried in his pillow. His body still trembles in the aftermath of a powerful orgasm, wetness cooling on his skin and on his bedsheets from where he was rutting in his sleep.

His face burns as he rolls away toward the edge of the bed, throwing his elbow across his eyes to block out the growing golden light of dawn. 

“Maker, hear my cry,” he mumbles, searching for anything to distract him from the dream that has destroyed him so utterly.

_ I love you  _ he said. He loves her. He loves the Inquisitor, the Herald of Andraste. He spent himself in his sleep like a youth thinking of her, of burying himself in her soft folds over and over…

He groans and forces himself to rise, crossing the cold room to the basin of water waiting for him. He needs to clean, to hide the evidence of yet another night of deluded fantasy.

If only he could work up the courage to…

_ No. _

He plunges his hands into the icy water, determined to stop the way his mind is moving.

She doesn’t deserve him. She must have someone better. She  _ must _ .


	7. Back in Skyhold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After confessing their feelings in the Fade, Asha and Cullen must face each other again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who missed it, I wrote an alternate chapter five that includes a [Rylen/Cullen/Asha sandwich](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9896123). Feel free to check it out and let me know if it lives up to your expectations.

Cullen stares down at the report that was mixed in with all the others as though it was a simple one, not one with news to turn his stomach.

_While helping a professor we found studying high dragons, we accidentally drew its attention enough to have to fight it. We initially intended only to place bait around some ruins to allow Frederick to study her, but she took offense to our presence and attacked us rather than the food. The Inquisitor sustained some minor injuries during the fight, but she has already recovered and we will be back at Skyhold within the week._

He dreamed she fought a dragon. He dreamed it, and it… came true? Was already true? The timing doesn’t make sense in his head no matter how hard he glares at the vellum in his hand.

A sickly feeling crawls up his spine as he tries to make sense of what he’s read. He drops the report into his desk drawer and closes it tight, unwilling to look at it for another moment. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut, a quick prayer to the Maker slipping past his lips.

He needs to shake this off. He can’t let whatever this feeling is distract him from his duty to the Inquisitor. The report was sent before they left the Approach, so it should be another day or two before they make it back, unless they traveled faster than usual or didn’t encounter any--

The horns sound, signaling the Inquisitor’s return, and Cullen starts at the noise. He glares down at the pile of paperwork on his desk, now doubting the timeline he worked out in his head. How long has that report been waiting for him to look at it? If they’re already back, perhaps the report accidentally worked its way back into the stack and he just forgot it after the dream. He’d barely paid attention to anything the day he woke up covered in his own spend, things certainly could have slipped through the cracks in his distraction.

He shakes himself and stands, stretching out stiff shoulders before he makes his way down to the lower courtyard to meet the Inquisitor’s party. His face heats as he thinks of the Inquisitor as she last appeared to him, naked skin flushed and glistening under him, eyes bright as she whispered _I love you._

He shakes the thoughts away, taking deep breaths of the cold mountain air outside of his tower. He jogs to loosen his muscles, slowing only once he’s in sight of the inner gate.

Dorian spots him first and the Tevinter hands the reins of his horse off to one of the stablehands. He winks before turning to whisper to the Inquisitor, who kicks at him lightly with one foot before turning to look at Cullen too.

Cullen rubs at the back of his neck as he closes the remaining distance, dodging the large animals happily heading for comfort. He has to force his face to remain neutral, fighting the blush that wants to claw its way up his neck to his face.

Asha beams up at him and receives an elbow in the side from Dorian, who slips away with a little wave of his wrist before she can respond. She tames her smile, but it still reaches up to her eyes, making them sparkle in the afternoon light.

“Cullen,” she says his name on an exhale, making it sound like a sigh. “You look… well.”

He blinks down at her as her cheeks start to redden under her tanned skin, but she doesn't look away. He finds himself mirroring her expression, grinning down at her like the lovesick fool he is. “It is a good day,” he acknowledges, leaving unspoken that her return is what makes it so. “I'm pleased to see _you_ well after the report I read this morning.”

“Which report was that?” Her voice sounds innocent, but her eyes dance away from his for just a moment.

He grins anyway. “About how you slew the Abyssal High Dragon. I'm only pleased because you had the Iron Bull with you, Inquisitor.”

Her smile immediately fades into a cross expression as her lips curl into a tiny snarl. “I've asked you not to call me that,” she says. “Would you just call me Asha? _Please_?”

Her words mimic the ones from his dream, the one where she kneeled between his thighs on the dais as he sat upon her throne. _Don’t call me that. Not here_.

He clears his throat at the memory and nods dumbly before finding his words. “Of course, my lady.” Her snarl deepens, so he adds: “Asha. Will I see you in the War Room later?”

She arches a brow as her face smooths back into its usual neutral expression. “Don't you always?”

She turns to leave then, giving him a little wave in farewell, and he has to force himself to turn away from her retreating form. It wouldn't do for the Inquisition’s Commander to be seen gaping after their leader like an out of control youth.

He shakes himself and returns to his tower, ready to pass the time until he can see her again.

\---

Asha strips free of her dirty, unbearably sandy armor as soon as she steps foot in her room. She leaves pieces dumped unceremoniously on the stairs to be gathered later, making a beeline to the large tub she knows is waiting for her.

She dips her fingers into the water, smiling as steam rises still from its surface, and climbs in. Scents of eucalyptus and mint surround her as she relaxes into the water, completely submerging herself in its warmth to wet her hair before washing.

Small cloth in hand, Asha cleans the grime of travel from her body, hissing through her teeth as she presses too hard on the still-mending muscles of her side.

She steps free of the tub and quickly dries, moving to stand in front of the large mirror near her wardrobe. She turns to the side and lifts her arm out of the way, examining the scars left behind from the dragon’s claws.

Three parallel pinkish lines follow her ribs, the center scar deepest and longest from taking the brunt of the dragon’s weight. She touches it and hisses again, the pain radiating through her body even as her fingers trace the mottled, tender flesh.

She turns away with a sigh, pulling on a loose tunic and foregoing a breastband to allow her skin time to heal. Leggings, thick socks, and a scarf follow before she twists her hair into a loose, damp bun on top of her head.

She gives herself another cursory glance in the mirror before nodding. It isn't what Vivienne or even Josephine would have her wear, but she found a _dragon_ for Andraste’s sake. She earned it.

\---

Cullen can _not_ take his eyes off of the Inquisitor. Off of _Asha._ He knows he's getting amused glances from Leliana, but he can't bring himself to care.

Asha looks radiant. Her skin, darker than usual from spending so long in the desert, is pinkish from her bath, curls escape her bun as her dark hair starts to dry, and she keeps grinning up at him like she's never been happier to see him.

He knows she's just happy to be out of the Approach. She's said as much, several times. “It's the blighted _sand_ ,” she complains. “If I'm going to be around that much sand, there better be salt water as far as I can see.”

Cullen doesn't necessarily agree, but Josephine nods in sympathy before subtly directing the Inquisitor into their debriefing session.

He missed her. He didn't realize how much until he found himself standing across from her, not even trying anymore to pretend like he isn't in love with her, that he wouldn't follow her to the ends of Thedas at her request, that he could imagine his life without her in it.

His chest tightens as that realization washes over him.

He can't imagine his life without her in it. He can't imagine waking up and not knowing that she's his for one more day.

He can't know that she's safe. He can't keep her in Skyhold. He can't do anything more than he is, training and directing her troops to guard against anything Corypheus might throw at them.

But he can tell her how he feels.

As soon as the meeting is finished, with Josephine promising to send them a summary of what they need to do with the takeaways, Cullen makes his decision.

“Inqui--Asha.” He corrects himself mid-word and his heart tries to burst from his chest when he sees the way her whole face lights up at hearing her name from his lips. “I, do you, that is.” He stops and exhales sharply from his nose as Leliana winks at him from the doorway before disappearing into the hallway with Josephine. “Would you join me for chess?”

Asha starts to nod and reach her hand out toward him, her smile only growing, before she suddenly pulls her arm back against her side with what sounds like a tiny whimper.

“I… I want to, Cullen, I do, but can we tomorrow? I'll bring lunch for us.” Her eyes are shining with either pain or… something else, something Cullen can't or won't identify, and she bites her lip as she waits for his answer.

He nods slowly, deflating as his determination from just a moment ago slips away from him. “Yes, of course.” His voice sounds flat even to his ears, and he mentally shakes himself before adding, “Lunch tomorrow.”

Asha nods eagerly, taking a step closer before grasping at his arm with her good hand. She squeezes at his vambrace, but he can't feel it through the cold metal.

“Lunch. I need to take another healing potion and go to sleep.” She stares at him, willing him to understand, pinning him in place with just the strength of her emerald gaze.

He gives in, just a little, and smiles. “Of course, my--Asha. You need to rest and heal.” Her shoulders slump a little as she nods and releases him. He offers his elbow to her, and she slips her hand into the crook as he starts to lead her through to the main hall.

“I will see you tomorrow,” he says as they leave Josephine’s office.

Asha nods, earnestness written over her features. “It's a date.”

\---

She's back in the tub, her side no longer paining her as Cullen gently massages at the mending muscles. She sighs and relaxes against his broad chest, luxuriating in the feel of his bare skin touching hers.

He seems to be thinking the same thing, brushing her hair away from her face to press a kiss against her temple. His hands never give up their caresses, intending to relax her into sleep but instead stoking a fire between her legs that grows more familiar with each dream.

“I’m proud of how you fought that dragon,” he says, low voice in her ear making her shiver. “My love the dragon slayer.” He kisses her cheek, then her ear, nuzzling into her damp hair.

Asha reaches up behind her and runs her wet fingers into Cullen’s hair, rubbing through the tamed curls to encourage them to rebel. He chuckles against her skin, his lips curling into a smile as he kisses her again. He lets his hands wander away from her side, skimming across her stomach under the steaming water.

She tilts her head to the side, letting one arm fall back down to give him room to work. He shifts under her, bringing one hand up to cup her breasts even as his hardening cock presses insistently against the small of her back.

She tries to shift against him, but he stills her with his free hand on her hip. He holds her in place even as he kisses every inch of skin he can reach, his soft lips making her shiver as goosebumps cover her flesh. One hand works at her breasts, squeezing, rolling peaked nipples between calloused fingers, as his other hand splays across her stomach under her belly button, teasing her just with its proximity to where she wants it.

She whines quietly, shifting her hips again, and smirks as she surprises a groan from his throat. His hand dips lower in retaliation, slipping through coarse curls before skipping down to her thigh, squeezing the muscle firmly. She whines again, spreading her legs in silent request.

Cullen doesn't give in. He continues teasing her, fingers ghosting over and around her inner thighs while his other hand stays at her breasts. He pinches and soothes until she growls from the center of her chest and reaches between her legs herself.

Just as her fingers find their goal, his hand bats them away. “Impatient,” he chides, a low chuckle sounding in her ear. Despite his words, he finally gives her what she needs. His fingers find their way to her clit, rubbing teasingly light circles over the little bundle of nerves.

Asha tilts her head back as far as she can, opening her throat to Cullen’s lips and teeth, as she groans her satisfaction. He works her expertly, little humming sighs escaping him with each shift of her hips against him.

Water starts to lap over the side of the tub, splashing on the stone floor of her quarters, but they both ignore it in favor of focusing on the pleasure sparking between them.

Cullen’s fingers dip lower, teasing against her opening while making sure the heel of his hand still presses against her clit. Each little gasp and moan that escapes her makes him beam with pride, and he ducks his head down to suck at the crook of her neck to leave a dark mark on her skin.

“Maker, Cullen,” she whines, shuddering in his arms. Her breathing is ragged, little moans escaping with each exhale as Cullen works her expertly. She shivers under his attentions, hips thrusting up to meet his fingers without her intending to. “ _Yes._ Perfect.”

He grins, pressing his fingers deep inside of her cunt, biting back an answering moan as she cries out. “ _You’re_ perfect,” he breathes, lips hot against her ear. She whines at his words, grabbing at his muscled forearm to guide him into her. His free hand slips up over her chest to her throat, resting there for a moment as he tips her head to the side, pulling another lurid moan from deep in her chest.

“Perfect,” he whispers again, tightening his fingers against her increasingly loud moans. His cock throbs between them, swollen and neglected, but his whole focus is on the feeling of her coming apart against his chest.

Her whole body stiffens as she curls around herself, fingernails digging into Cullen’s arm. She doesn’t hold back, crying out as loudly as her body begs her, her scream tapering off into a whine as she relaxes and Cullen releases his hold on her.

She lies boneless against his chest, eyes screwed shut, breathing fast through parted lips. Cullen runs soothing hands over her arms and across her stomach, pressing contented kisses to her neck and shoulder as she comes back to herself.

“You’re so good at that,” she whispers, just barely loud enough for him to hear. His smile is broad and instantaneous, his face flushing under her praise even as his arms wrap around her to hold her tighter. She sighs heavily, as she begins to stir, life coming back into her limbs.

He releases her, and with a glance over her shoulder, Asha stands. She freezes on her feet, letting the water cascade off of her body. She waits as Cullen shifts behind her, large hands creeping up her thighs towards her ass, but she deftly steps out of his reach and grabs up a towel.

She wraps it around herself and turns back to look at him, pulling her wet hair over one shoulder with a grin. “Come on, then,” she beckons, taking another step away from him as he stands to follow her. She continues walking backwards as he pads across the floor to her, heedless of the water spilling on the rug, until he grabs her towel and yanks it from her.

She freezes in place as the towel drops to the floor, but Cullen keeps walking until he can wrap one arm around her waist. He pulls her body flush against his, his free hand sliding up her arm until his fingers brush against the side of her neck. She tilts her head back to give him room, eyes darkening as she stares at him.

He obeys, moving closer until his thumb is on the front of her throat and his fingers are wrapped around the back of her neck. “I didn’t know you would like this.” He squeezes gently, and she leans against him more heavily as her eyes drop closed.

She drags in a shuddering breath, fingers clawing at his waist. When he releases her, her lips turn down at the corners for a moment before she forces her eyes open to look at him. “There are a lot of things you don’t know about me,” she points out, returning his expression when he smiles down at her.

“Anything you’d care to show me?” His eyes spark at the question, his hands dipping below her waist to her bare ass, using it as leverage to pull her tighter against him.

Instead of answering, she arches up on her toes to capture his lips with hers, first biting on the full lower one to pull a familiar growl from his chest. He leans down to her, reaching farther down her body until he can grab her thighs and lift, wrapping her legs around his waist. His cock nestles under her ass, bouncing with each heavy step he takes toward her large bed.

He leans down with her until he can gently release her onto the mattress, and she scoots back to give him room to join her. He does immediately, pressing into her space and crowding over her until his whole body is on the bed too.

He leans in like he's going to kiss her before pausing just out of her reach. He shifts his weight until he can lift one hand to return to her throat. “You like this,” he murmurs, voice heavy with desire. “And you like this.” He slides his hand around to the back of her head and tangles his fingers in his hair. His grip tightens until she tilts her head back and catches her breath, eyes glowing up at him. “What else would you like me to do to you?”

“H-hold my wrists,” she whispers, tongue tripping over the words. Cullen only hesitates for a moment before obeying, releasing her hair to grab for her arms. She lets him gather both wrists in one large hand and push them into the mattress above her head.

“Like this? This is what you want?” His question holds no judgment, only desire to make sure she’s comfortable. She moves her hips restlessly under him, seeking any contact for the arousal that's returned with a vengeance. She nods up at him, biting at her swollen lips, but he says, “Say it. I need to hear you say it.”

“Yes, I like this, I want this. Cullen, _please_.” Her hips arch up this time, legs wrapping around his ass to bring the tip of his cock into contact with her cunt.

He hisses at the contact, putting more weight on her wrists so he can grab at her hips with his other hand. “ _Maker_ , you're wet.” It sounds like blasphemy coming from his lips, and Asha closes her eyes to enjoy the sound of his voice. “This is…”

He trails off and teases against her opening, dragging himself through her waiting wetness.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” he grunts, voice trembling from holding himself back. He bends down to pull one dusky nipple into his mouth, nibbling at it before letting it fall from his lips with a quiet  _pop._ “I can't believe… I wish…” He trails off again and shakes his head. “I love you.”

Asha’s eyes open again at that, her whole face lighting with a smile. “I love _you_ , Cullen.”

He finally kisses her then, melting against her at the contact. He slides into her with one smooth motion, filling her completely when his hips are flush against hers. She groans against his lips, spreading her thighs wider to take him deeper and give him more room to move.

He tightens his grip on her wrists as he breaks their kiss. “This is perfect. You're perfect.” He repeats his words from the tub, honey eyes begging her to believe him. She just smiles up at him and licks her lips, waiting, but Cullen seems content to just gaze down at her.

“You're going to be the death of me,” he informs her, startling a dry laugh from her throat. His hand leaves her hip to smooth up her thigh, and he shifts his knees on the mattress just enough to tease her with the added pressure.

She arches into him, trying in vain to take him deeper or make him move, and a whine escapes her throat. His fingers tighten on her wrists and she immediately freezes, another moan escaping her. The corner of Cullen’s lips quirk up at the sound.

“Please, Cullen,” she whines, voice dangerously close to begging. “I want you.”

He smiles and leans closer to her to ask, “What do you want?”

She narrows her eyes at him, considering for just a moment before she hooks her feet behind his thighs to hold him close. “I want you to _fuck me,_ Commander.”

“As you wish.” He releases her wrists as he pulls out completely, using his now-free hands to grab her hips. He flips her easily, spinning her until she’s on her stomach with her ass facing him. He adjusts her, pulling her up onto her knees before sliding back into her.

His movements are rough but controlled, his hips angled until he hears her cry out with each deep thrust into her heat. He keeps his fingers digging into her hips, pulling her back to meet him each time he buries himself inside of her.

Asha can do little else in Cullen’s hands but call for him and the Maker as though either will give her mercy. She can feel another climax racing toward her, and she fights it, afraid of its intensity. Her legs tremble and her arms shake, barely able to hold herself upright, when Cullen leans forward over her.

One of his hands leaves her hip, smoothing over her back to the base of her skull where it tangles in her hair and pulls her up. She moves willingly, the dull pain at the back of her head only pushing her higher. He holds her there, back arched, as he gives her what she wants, what she  _asked_ him for.

“Asha,” he warns, his own release building after so much teasing and such a brutal pace. When her only response is a whine, he tries again, “I want you to come for me. Now. _Now,_ Asha.”

And she does, shattering under him with a scream. He releases her hair and she collapses onto the mattress, her hips still tight in his hand, as he follows her over the edge. He buries himself deep in her heat and spills within her, filling her, a desperate cry falling from his lips in answer to hers.

Even trembling and exhausted, Cullen is careful to fall to Asha’s side to avoid putting all of his weight on her. She remains face down on the bed, her body completely spent. As his breath comes back to him, he reaches over and wraps his arm around her back, pulling her against him. She allows him to move her, relaxing against his body with a satisfied sigh.

He kisses the back of her neck, then sighs against her skin. “I don’t want to wake up.” His words are quiet, barely whispered, the thought that’s been following him all night. He doesn’t want to leave her in his dream because he doesn’t have this when he’s awake.

“Hmm?” She turns her head toward him, just enough so he’ll know she’s listening. The rest of her body doesn’t move, little beads of sweat cooling on tanned skin in the cool air of her room.

He smooths errant hair away from her face, then lets his hand rest on her cheek. “It’s not the same, seeing you and not being able to tell you how I feel.”

Her nose wrinkles as she tries to force herself to pay attention to his words. Her physical body wants her to wake up, but her mind wants to stay with her love. “I know you love me, Cullen,” she finally mutters, reaching back to pat his hip.

He sighs and nuzzles closer, happy that the dream has lasted this long. “It won’t be the same in the morning.”

Her eyes flicker open at that. She has to push the pull of wakefulness away from her, the dream already starting to go hazy around the edges. “What? Why?” She turns to look at him, propping herself up on a still-shaky arm.

Cullen rests his hand on her naked waist, thumb tracing soothing circles over her skin. “We’ll have to stand around the War Table, planning, and all I’ll be able to think about is, is fucking you into your mattress and wondering if you truly those noises.” He squeezes her hip and offers her a little smile. “I did say you’re going to be the death of me.”

“I--what?” Asha sits up fully, pulling away from Cullen’s touch. She scoots toward the edge of the bed as though she’s going to stand, but freezes before she can. “You think about this during our meetings?”

Cullen sits up too, concern painting his features. He reaches for her, but she leans away from his touch, so he lets his hand fall back to the rumpled blanket. “Of course, these dreams have been haunting me for weeks.”

Asha does stand up at this, ignoring her shaking muscles. She needs something to cover herself, so her robe is there, and she draws it tightly around herself before turning back to Cullen. “The dreams. Have been haunting _you_.”

“Of course. How could they not?” Cullen’s face is pinched as he watches Asha staring at him, confusion washing over his features. This isn’t how the dreams go. This is never how they end.

Asha stands frozen for a long moment, just staring at him as her breath starts to quicken. Then, suddenly, she presses both of her hands to the sides of her face. “ _Shit_.” The expletive bursts from her so loudly that Cullen jumps, startled, before reaching for her again. She steps away and continues swearing, colorful phrases that would make him blush at any other time.

“Asha, stop it, what’s wrong?” He stands and walks around the bed to her, grasping onto her shoulders to hold her still. “Please talk to me.”

She shakes her head quickly, dark hair flying into her face. “No. This is wrong. I fucked it up. I fucked it _all_ up.”

“Asha!” Cullen shakes her, just enough to get her attention, and she looks up at him with wide eyes. “What are you _talking_ about?”

“Cullen, look at me.” He raises his eyebrows at her, their eyes already locked. “I need you to _wake up._ ”

And then he’s gone, leaving her alone in the Fade.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact, in my original outline there was less smut in this chapter. Ridiculous, right?


	8. Awake

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With all parties aware of what was happening, it's time to talk.

Asha sits up with a cry, leaving the Fade with such abruptness that her head spins and her stomach rolls. She leaps from her bed and barely has the presence of mind to grab for her robe before she sprints from her quarters.

She runs down her stairs and through the main hall of Skyhold, moving too fast to be grateful for its silent emptiness. Her bare feet slap on the stone floors as she runs as fast as she can, tears already building in her eyes.

How could she have done this? How could she break his trust like this? After everything?

Her tears come faster as she skids through the library rotunda, feet almost slipping out from under her in her haste. Her panic builds inside of her, guilt clawing at her throat. Her dreams were only supposed to be for her. How could she have let this happen? 

She drew Solas into her dream. She should have known.

When she arrives at the door to Cullen’s office, she freezes with one hand on the latch. Fear and doubt overcome her as one, pinning her to her spot. Perhaps a nightmare overcame her. Perhaps she’s panicked for no reason,  _ again.  _ Perhaps…

She hears a quiet  _ thump  _ on the other side of the door as Cullen descends his ladder from his bedroom and lands in his office, booted feet hitting the stone floor. Her breath catches in her throat and the tears come fresh to her eyes, running down her cheeks until they can drip from her chin. Another deep breath and she pushes through the door.

They face each other, frozen in place. Cullen is dressed in a pair of thin trousers and his tunic, clothes he usually wears under his armor. He’s laced his boots up as well, more prepared than she is to traverse the keep, hands busy lighting a single candle. Only her panic gave her more speed, bringing her to his doorstep before he had the chance to find her.

“Inquisitor.” He greets her with a nod and her title, eyes tracing over her face. She wipes at her cheeks with the sleeve of her robe, drying the tears collected there. Cullen shifts on his feet, moving until his large desk is between them, a barrier keeping him safe.

She takes a step closer, letting his door swing shut behind her. “Cullen… oh, Cullen,  _ please.  _ I’m sorry.” She takes another step into his office, but he takes a step away from her. She freezes, swaying where she stands. “Cullen…”

“How did you do it?” His voice is quiet, steady, but he refuses to look her in the eye. He stares instead at her stomach, close enough to be able to see her hands in case she attacks him. “How…  _ why _ ?”

She takes a step to close the distance between them, but she freezes again when she sees him flinch away from her, his hands fisting at his sides. She needs to reassure him, but she doesn’t know how. She doesn’t know how to make up for what she’s done and change the way his amber eyes are sparking in the candlelight.

“I’m sorry,” she spits out again. “I didn’t mean… I didn’t  _ know _ .” Even her voice sounds wet, and Cullen’s eyes snap back up to her face just in time to see a fresh wave of tears fall from her eyes. She wipes at her face with her sleeves and tries to square her shoulders, but the trembling of her limbs gives her away.

He takes a deep breath. “Are you a mage?”

She takes a shuddering breath, blinking hard at the sudden question. “What?”

His eyes narrow. “Are you a  _ mage _ ?” He spits the word  _ mage  _ out with a fervor that surprises her, a sharpness behind his voice that makes her take a step away from him. “How could you control the Fade like that if you’re not a mage? No normal--”

She cuts him off with a quick shake of her head. “It’s the anchor.” She holds up her left hand and lets its power crackle. Cullen flinches from it, hands reaching for a weapon that isn’t on his hip. She hides her hand back in her sleeve and tries to explain again, “Solas said--”

“Solas told you to reach into my mind and pull me into your dreams?” Cullen crosses his arms across his chest to hide the way they’ve begun to shake, and Asha’s shoulders slump as she shakes her head again. “Who  _ else  _ have you done this to?”

“No one!” Her voice grows louder at the accusation without her meaning to raise it. “I didn’t even know I was doing it to  _ you _ . I just--I just thought…” She can feel a fresh wave of tears rising and she bites them back with a clenched jaw. “I missed… I missed being here. The first time was when we were in the Fallow Mire, and I just wanted to be  _ home. _ ”

Cullen blinks at her, staying silent, but his shoulders relax almost imperceptibly. 

She tries to continue explaining: “I just wanted to dream about Skyhold and forget about the Mire, and then  _ you  _ were there, and then you…” she trails off, the memory of that first dream playing in her mind. Her face heats and she turns away from him. “I would  _ never _ have done it if I thought you would be trapped in my mind too. I  _ never  _ want to hurt you. I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do, especially not…”

She stops again and covers her face with one hand, taking steadying breaths.

Cullen stays silent, but leans forward to rest his hands flat on his desk. His head bows deeply, dangling between his arms, as he takes deep, controlled breaths. He counts them, following the patterns taught by the Order to maintain focus, and releases a Cleanse.

It’s a small one, just enough to wash through his office. If Asha were a mage, she would be able to feel it, but when he looks back up at her she doesn’t move at all. 

“No magic.” 

She snaps her gaze back to his, jaw going slack. She shakes her head at him. “I’m not a mage.”

“And you didn’t know.”

His expression is unreadable, but she shakes her head again as she bites her lip. 

His eyes roam over her face, taking in the redness of her cheeks and the tip of her nose, the wetness of her eyelashes, the way the flesh of her lower lip is caught between her teeth.

The silence is unbearable, so she forces herself to turn to him completely and take a step in his direction. When he doesn’t flinch away, she takes another, and then another, and then she’s directly across from him on the other side of his desk, close enough that she could reach out and touch him.

She doesn’t.

“I didn’t know. I would  _ never _ \--” She trails off as he begins to move, standing upright and crossing his arms again.

He levels his gaze on her and she tries to stand up under it, looking back up into his eyes as he considers her. 

When he finally speaks, she flinches away from the sudden noise, even though it’s softer than he normally sounds. “You didn’t force me.”

“What?” It isn’t what she was expecting from him at all, and she doesn’t know what to say. “Yes I did, I made you--”

He shakes his head and holds one hand up, palm facing her, to ask her to be silent. “You may have forced me into your dreams, but you did not make me do anything I did not already want to do. You did not force my hand, only gave me the opportunity to act.”

His words aren’t making sense. She shakes her head hard, and the motion knocks her hair down from its tangled bun. It falls around her shoulders, catching Cullen’s attention. His eyes narrow as he watches it swing against her face, as she pushes it behind her ear with irritation.

He can remember so clearly tugging on those strands to make her gasp and moan. His face heats and he turns away, dropping his gaze to the candle burning between them on the desk.

“But, you wouldn’t have  _ done  _ any of that if I hadn’t pulled you into my dream first, Cullen. I should have, I didn’t know--” She’s working herself back up again as Cullen’s words wash over her without their meaning becoming clear. “Cullen, how can you trust me?”

Her eyes well with tears again and she turns to leave as she swipes her sleeve across her face. Before she can take more than two steps, Cullen is around the desk and in front of her to block her progress. She freezes as he grabs at her shoulders, fingers burning her through the thin cotton of her robe. “Asha, stop. Please.”

She obeys, silently watching as he carefully considers his words. He swallows hard, and she watches the movement in his throat. Their dream is only minutes behind them, the emotional upheaval leaving her exhausted but her body still unfulfilled. Her face heats and she ducks her head, trying to shrink under his gaze before his fingers find their way to her chin to pull her face back up to his.

“Asha.” His voice is soft, and as his thumb caresses her jaw she realizes that this is the first time he’s touched her, truly touched her, with his bare hands. Her next deep breath is shaky, pulled in between parted lips, and Cullen’s eyes watch the movement with rapt attention.

“Cullen?” She forces his name out, desperate to know what he’s thinking.

He doesn’t make her wait, his anger bleeding away into something else. “I don’t regret what I said. In, in the dreams.” He clenches his jaw but his touch remains soft. “Do you?”

She blinks. “Do I regret the dreams?”

“No. The... things you said.”

It takes her a moment, but when she realizes his true question she reaches out to rest her hand on his chest. It’s firm under her touch, warm, and her voice trembles as she says, “Cullen. I love you.”

He closes the space between them at her words, stepping into her until she can feel his desk pressing against her ass. Their lips meet, for the first time in the waking world, and Asha thinks she can see stars behind her eyes at the surprising softness.

A quiet moan escapes her as he lets go of her chin to wrap his arms around her, completely enveloping her in his warmth. Her hands find their way up the solid wall of his chest to the back of his neck, tightening in his curls.

This is better than any of the dreams. Not just because it’s real, but because he feels so solid in her arms, his skin warm against hers, his growing beard scratching against her face. Her hands won’t stop shaking as she grips his hair tighter, trying to press her whole body against his.

Cullen is responding the same, marveling at how strong she feels under her robe. His hands move across her shoulders and back, desperate to feel every inch of her but not sure where to start. Months of dreams after months of admiring her from across Skyhold and across Haven…

He moans into her mouth and bends closer, reaching down to grab her ass through her robe. His cock is already stirring between them, and he clutches her tighter.

When she breaks the kiss to look up at him, he very nearly whines in protest before he catches himself. Instead, he runs his tongue over his lower lip and pulls it into his mouth to taste her, watching as her lips part as she breathes in.

“Can we go upstairs?”

Her voice is low, breathy, and it’s all Cullen can do to keep from stripping her bare and lifting her onto his desk to take her right there.  _ That _ is a dream they haven’t shared before.

His breath catches in his throat before he manages to respond. “Yes. Yes.”

He takes a step back to allow her to move freely, but she hesitates, looking up at him. Her eyes wander over his face, over his scar, then down to the patch of skin she can see peeking out of the open collar of his tunic.

“Are you sure you want this?” Her eyebrows knit together as uncertainty wracks her, pins her to her spot against his desk.

He closes the distance between them again and cups her face, holding her with such tenderness that she begins to tremble under his touch. His thumbs stroke over her cheeks as he tilts her face up to his. He kisses her again, more slowly this time, and her hands come up to clutch at his wrists.

“Asha, I’ve loved you almost since the first time you stood across from me at the war table. I can’t think of a single thing I’m  _ more  _ certain of.” He brushes his lips across hers again and smiles as she sways against him.

When he releases her, she holds on to his wrists for another moment before nodding slowly. She turns and grasps the ladder with still trembling hands, climbing all the way up and stepping into Cullen’s room before he shakes himself enough to follow.

When he makes it to the top, he freezes with his head just through the opening in the floor. Asha has removed her robe, dropping it near the foot of his bed, and she’s just standing near the open section of roof. Her arms are crossed behind her as she stares up at the stars, the moonlight spilling through and illuminating her in cold silver light.

She turns when she hears him, smiling down at his slack-jawed expression. The moonlight highlights her curves, the strength of her limbs from years of fighting, a dark tattoo stretching between her shoulder blades that he never saw in their dreams, three dark scars circling her ribs that must have been the cause of her earlier pain. She extends her hand to him and he finishes climbing into his room, crossing the space to her in just a few strides.

He scoops her up into her arms, and she laughs, clutching at his neck as he carries her across the room. They’ve had this dream before, but it was warmer in the Fade. With his roof open to the chilly mountain air, goose bumps cover her body and her nipples harden into peaks as she shivers.

Cullen sets her down gently, sitting next to her to unlace his boots. She sits up, wrapping her arms around him and pressing open-mouthed kisses to the back of his neck. She reaches down and slips her hands under his tunic, scratching gently at him with her nails, and she can’t help the chuckle that escapes her when she feels him shudder under her touch.

He reaches behind him and yanks his tunic off, letting it fall to the floor between his feet before turning to face her. She scoots away, lifting the blanket to allow him to climb in the bed beside her, and he immediately rolls them so that he settles between her legs.

He props himself up on his elbows, gazing down at her for a long moment before he leans down to bite her lower lip. His teeth sink into that soft flesh that’s been taunting him for so many months, and he’s rewarded with the most beautiful sound he’s ever heard.

Asha moans under him, shaking either with pleasure or the cold, and he repeats the motion before soothing her lip with his tongue. She takes advantage of his distraction and sucks his tongue into her mouth, pulling hard on it, surprising an answering moan from him.

When he breaks away from her, he buries his face in the crook of her neck to cover her skin with kisses and bites, moving over her throat and up to her ear before returning to her lips. He follows the urging of his body, pressing his hips tight against hers, drawing little grunts from the back of his throat even as it encourages little gasping moans from the woman under him.

He uses his tongue to pull her earlobe between his teeth and bites down on it, and Asha reaches as low as she can, slipping her hands under the waistband of his trousers.

“Why,” she gasps, “why are you still wearing these?”

A chuckle rumbles from the center of Cullen’s chest, and he pushes away from her enough that she can reach between them and tug at the ties holding his trousers closed. “Impatient?”

She cuts her eyes up at him in a glare undercut by the raw desire in her eyes. “I’ve literally been dreaming of this for months,” she points out. “I  _ need  _ you. We can go slow next time.”

Cullen arches an eyebrow but quickly forgets his comment as her hands complete their task and she takes his cock into her hand. She strokes and squeezes, immediately pushing all rational thought from his mind. He bucks into her hand for a moment, unable to remember a time even this simple act has felt so good.

He shakes his head after a moment and moves out of her reach, sliding down her body until he hears her breath hitch. He nudges her thighs apart until his shoulders fit between them, then he looks up at her from between her spread legs.

“I would like to do something first,” he says, voice surprisingly formal even as a smirk pulls at the scarred corner of his mouth. She’s still holding her breath, but she nods at him before he ducks his head down to press a kiss to her inner thigh.

The stubble covering his chin scratches at her sensitive skin, and she whines at the feeling, arching her hips toward his face. He looks up at her again, waiting until their eyes meet before he lowers his head even further to dip his tongue between her folds.

She collapses back onto his pillow with a sigh, shifting her hips towards him until he slides his hands under her ass to hold her still and against his mouth. He works her quickly, following the patterns he learned in the Fade, tasting and teasing her until sweat gathers on her skin even in the cold air of his loft.

He moans against her as her taste fills his senses, overwhelming him even as it just isn't enough. He drinks up her arousal and pushes her already thrumming body to the edge, moaning his own pleasure as she falls into hers.

She tenses, one hand grasping at the sheet as the other tangles in his curls to hold his head in place as though he would dare to leave her then. He stares up at her as he continues to tease out her orgasm, watching the way her face twists before the pleasure breaks across it and emerges as a loud moan and the strangled sound of his name.

When she pushes his head away from her core, he wipes his lips and chin off with his hand before moving to cover her body with his once more. Her breaths come fast and deep, her hands moving to rest on his chest as she comes back to herself.

She opens her eyes after a moment and beams up at Cullen, rewarding his smug expression with a bright happiness he's never seen on her face before. 

He shifts his hips, bringing the tip of his cock against her wetness. Her eyes flutter closed for a breath, and she pushes her hips up toward his, encouraging him to enter her by moving her hands to the small of his back and pulling.

“Are you ready?” Cullen’s voice is low, the husky sound making Asha tremble. She nods, and he begins to enter her at last. 

He moves slowly, savoring every Maker-blessed inch that welcomes him as he fills her. When he's fully seated inside of her, hips flush against hers, he stills again and looks down at her.

“Asha?” She opens her eyes and stares up at him, forcing herself to take a deep breath. “Can you come again?”

His question takes a moment to register, but when it does her face splits into another wide grin, and she nods up at him. “Yes.”

He nods back and pulls almost all the way out of her. “Good,” he says, and then slams back in.

She gasps at the little spark of pleasure, then digs her fingernails into the skin of his back as he continues moving, quickly increasing the speed and strength of his thrusts until each one pushes a whine from her throat. She meets his with ones of her own, pushing her body to increase their pleasure.

Cullen watches with wide eyes and parted lips as Asha reaches between them to rub at her clit, giving herself the extra stimulation she needs to build herself up higher. 

“ _ Maker _ ,” he mutters, reaching down to hook one of her legs around his arm. He holds her open for him, eyes trained on her face as she begins making desperate, gasping whines that he recognizes, and his heart swells even as she breaks apart underneath him.

She cries out, this orgasm more powerful than the last, and shudders, her body clutching Cullen’s any way it can. Her free hand tangles in his hair, holding tighter than she intended, and he doesn’t even try to stop himself from finishing with her.

He lowers himself until he can press his cheek against hers and calls for her as he spills himself. Her name slips from his mouth as a low groan rumbles out of the center of his chest. Their bodies shudder together, relaxing into a state of bliss that is so much more satisfying than the mornings they’ve woken up alone.

Asha comes back to herself first, forcing her eyes open to stare at the ceiling. “Cullen?”

He just grunts an acknowledgement, turning his head just enough to press an open-mouthed kiss to her collarbone.

“My leg.”

“Oh!” Cullen pushes himself up on his forearms, moving to release her leg. He glances down at her tired eyes and then lower, blushing hotly. “Oh,” he repeats. “I’m, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...” He begins to move away, his softening cock slipping from her core, and his apology suddenly makes sense.

Asha just shakes her head at him as he collapses on the bed next to her, turning to follow his warmth. He settles on his side with one arm over her, the apologetic frown still wrinkling his forehead, and she props herself up on her elbow to look at him.

“It’s okay,” she assures him. “I can take care of it.” She reaches out and smooths her thumb between his eyebrows, relaxing the wrinkle and pulling a smile to his face. “Are you happy?”

His smile widens, and his hand settles on her waist, his thumb making soothing circles on her heated skin. “I… I am happy.” He says the words like they’re a revelation, something he never expected to be able to say again. He pulls her toward him for a kiss, this one gentle, soft, lingering more than the heated kisses they shared in his office.

She melts against him, her hand once more tangling in his curls until he breaks their kiss.

His golden eyes meet hers, and she smiles back at him. Her mouth opens then closes again, uncertainty suddenly raging through her once more. Cullen sees it and tightens his hold on her.

“I do love you,” he says, voice low. “I… I should have said something sooner. I didn’t know you…” He sighs and his eyes dip away from her face for a moment before he forces them back. “I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head again at his apology. “I understand. We’re at war. It’s why I didn’t approach you either.” Her cheeks darken even as her lips curl into a tiny smile. “Not on purpose, anyway.”

Cullen laughs and pulls her back to him for another kiss, this one shorter. “I’m glad you did.”

She pulls away and frowns. “Are you sure you’re okay with what happened? I don’t want to--”

“Asha.” He interrupts her, stopping her train of thought before she upsets herself again over something she couldn’t have known. “I  _ was  _ upset,” he admits. “I  _ was  _ furious. But…” he pauses, searching for the right words to share how he feels. “You didn’t  _ know.  _ It wasn’t malicious, and it did bring you here. To me.”

Asha nods at him, but the little frown doesn’t leave her face until he grabs her chin and kisses her again.

“You should speak with Solas in the morning,” Cullen continues. “To make sure this doesn’t happen with anyone else.”

Asha nods and lays her head down on the pillow, snuggling closer to him and closing her eyes. “It’s never happened with anyone else. I’ve only ever dreamed about… Shit.” She trails off and her whole body stiffens before she sits back up. She pulls away from Cullen and crosses the room to the little pitcher of water and basin. 

Cullen sits up and watches her silently, dread pooling in his chest, as she grabs one of his rags and dips it in the frigid water before vigorously cleaning herself.

“Rylen,” she mutters. “In the Approach, do you remember? He was there at the beginning and you chased him off.”

Cullen narrows his eyes as he listens. “I remember,” he says, though he offers no other words to betray his thoughts.

She glances up at him. “I didn’t even think it was that kind of dream. I mean, I remember thinking he wasn’t you, and then you were there, but I don’t…” She throws the rag down and covers her face with both hands. “Andraste’s ass, he couldn’t look me in the eyes the next day. Oh  _ no. _ ”

She doesn’t notice when Cullen stands and crosses the room until he wraps his arms around her. He pulls her tight against his chest and kisses the top of her head before resting his chin on it. “Shh. We’ll talk to Solas tomorrow. Come back to bed. Please?”

Asha nods against his chest and lets him lead her back across the room. She lays on her side and he presses against her back, their bodies molding together as he pulls the blanket up to cover them. She rests her hands on his arm and sighs heavily, letting the warmth radiating from his body relax her back to the point of sleep.

“Cullen?” Her only response is a little grunt to let her know he’s still awake. “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I love you, there's a bonus (non-smut) little epilogue for you!


	9. Bonus: Epilogue (sfw)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little something extra so you know how their story continues.

The Emerald Graves are beautiful, lush and green, but also oppressively quiet and instill a deep sense of sadness in Asha that seeps into her bones. She can’t help but think of the ancient elves buried under these trees, the ones who had fought so hard for their freedom and yet still fallen.

Her companions seem to feel the same, and camp is quiet as they set it up. Dinner is eaten without its usual joking conversation or games of wicked grace, and everyone retires to their tents for the evening earlier than usual.

This just means that Asha can fall asleep earlier, slipping into her dreams with the ease that she’s been practicing for months, and she isn’t going to complain about that.

She does have to wait for Cullen to fall asleep too, but even he’s been sleeping earlier and longer (and better) since they’ve begun their regular meetings in the Fade. It helps both of them knowing what waits for them when they close their eyes, and it helps make the weeks Asha spends away from Skyhold not seem so long or so lonely.

When he joins her, it’s with a smile and none of the trepidation he felt during their first planned meeting. He moves with the easy confidence she’s come to associate with him in their dreams, his armor gone in favor of casual trousers and a tunic with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and he sits next to her on the couch in her quarters.

He reaches for her without hesitating, gathering her in his arms for first a soft kiss on her lips and then to rest in his lap with her head against his shoulder. Her arms snake around him in response, a little sigh escaping her lips as her body relaxes against his warmer one.

“I missed you,” he says, voice low in her ear. His chest rumbles as he speaks, and she presses more tightly to him, chasing the feeling.

“I missed you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHH. My baby is finished. Love it? Hop over to [my tumblr](http://ma-sulevin.tumblr.com/) and let's talk about it :)

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoying the smut? Can't wait until the next update? Come hang out on my [tumblr](http://ma-sulevin.tumblr.com/) for my other writing and paltry attempts at humor!


End file.
